


Parasomnia

by LanternJawedStudmuffin



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Canon Era, Comfort, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dissociation, Dreams and Nightmares, Fluff, Friendly kisses, Friendship/Love, Insomnia, Multi, Multiple Personalities, POV Third Person, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Riku's POV, Sad Sora, sort of not exactly, troubled teenagers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-05
Updated: 2015-10-21
Packaged: 2018-04-24 21:35:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 21,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4936192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LanternJawedStudmuffin/pseuds/LanternJawedStudmuffin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set between Dream Drop Distance and KH3.</p><p>Though a master of his own heart in waking life, in sleep Sora experiences the dreams of all those sharing it - including their nightmares.</p><p>Riku had no idea until they started sharing a dorm in Yen Sid's tower.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> As a note to all readers, this fic is not meant to reference DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder). The 'multiple personalities' that are a factor in this story aren't actually separate personalities... This is more like, the presence of people in Sora's heart are affecting him in a lingering sort of way.
> 
> If we were to write a fic about an actual mental illness, rest assured, we'd totally explicitly state so.
> 
> We're also not going to outright state the who's-who of the party in Sora's head. 'Cause you, the awesome reader, only gets to know what Riku knows. So, have fun guessing and enjoy!

_The first night._

 

“ - You should've seen Riku's _face_...after he pulled it out of the dirt, that is.”

Every one of Riku's muscles were sore, and his steps felt heavy. After an activity-intensive day, Sora really should have been feeling it just as much as Riku was, but he sure didn't seem to be. With great enthusiasm, Sora recounted the events of the day to Kairi as the three of them trudged from the dinner table to their sleeping quarters. Yen Sid's tower didn't feel like home to any of them yet – Kairi still politely offered to help with the dishes, even though the Master had expressed several times that they weren't to worry about such things.

They were only here to train, Yen Sid had told them in that stern, slow manner of speech. Riku had taken that strongly to heart, inferring that they weren't here to goof around, either. Something bigger was coming, and they had to be ready.

Sora, though he put on that ridiculous face of extreme determination when the Master or the King spoke of the challenges ahead, didn't seem to share his concern... Not that Riku had shared it aloud with him. When it wasn't the difference between saving a world and defeat, Sora fought like it was _fun._ If it hadn't also been in competition with Riku, he might not have bothered to even try.

Having Kairi around, he thought, was partially to blame for Sora's lax attitude. The three of them had caught such brief snatches of time together over the past few years, and too many of those times had involved mortal peril to really count as a reunion. Being able to share evenings with his two best friends in (relative) peace and safety... it was difficult to remember sometimes that they _weren't_ simply back on the islands, carelessly wiling away their time, relaxing together in their favorite spots, basking in being _heroes_ and enjoying all the glory of a world they'd saved.

At times, all Riku could do was watch Sora in utter bewilderment, and wonder if this was all a big sleepover to him, and not a mission of dire importance.

Then there were times he ended up knocked flat, chewing on a mouthful of dust because he'd allowed himself for one moment to forget how deceptively strong his best friend was.

Riku had no doubt that he gave every sparring match his all, which meant at the end of the day, they were pressed to the limit and should have _both_ been drained.

Must have been the food, Riku thought through his bleary haze of distraction. Sora had a lot in common with a vacuum cleaner, when it came time to eat. _Especially_ after a day like today.

One of the many wonders of Yen Sid's tower was that their meals seemed to come from nowhere, and the plates never quite ran out. On one occasion, practically immediately after learning they would be living there temporarily, Sora had insisted on exploring the place, and no kitchen had been found. They chalked it up to fairies.

“You do a lot of bragging over a couple of lucky shots,” Riku spoke up, dragging his gaze away from the hall directly ahead to send Sora a pointed smirk.

“Lucky that you totally forgot to block your weak spots?” Sora retaliated with a grin. Kairi, still fresh-faced and with a reasonable amount of energy for the hour, giggled.

“Sounds like you're having too much fun.” There was a touch of longing in her words, and Riku didn't blame her. She was still in the theoretical stages of her training, and if Riku were in her position, he'd be restless too.

“He won't have so much fun _next_ time,” Riku teased, ruffling Sora's wild hair almost aggressively and pushing his head down in the process.

“Agh – Riku!” Sora's arms flailed over his head like he was trying to swat an enormous insect. A Riku-shaped insect.

Kairi had to duck out from between the two of them to avoid a scuffle just as Sora's arm swung out at him. Riku just laughed, taking the blow (mindfully soft, probably to avoid actually hurting him or just in case Kairi _did_ end up being caught in the crossfire) and pulling his arm back.

“C'mon,” Riku approached the foot of the long staircase. “Got to get enough sleep to bring your 'A' game, tomorrow.”

“You bet I'll be up early for a day of pummeling you into the dust,” he boasted, about to start up the spiral stairs. Kairi followed to the base of the steps, but paused there.

“Goodnight, boys,” she had to raise her voice a little to be heard over their banter.

Sora hesitated, hand on the railing. “You're not coming up to bed?”

“Should we wait up?” Riku offered.

“Don't bother,” she shook her head. “Master Yen Sid has a huge history lesson on Radiant Garden prepared for me tomorrow, and he wants me to read ahead up to the founding.”

With Kairi's arrival, it seemed Yen Sid had gotten the one thing he'd always wanted – a new pupil he could drone on to about every scrap of history involving the Keyblade, or the forces of light and darkness _before_ handing them a Keyblade and pointing them in the direction of a Heartless. Sora, after all, had fallen head-first into Keyblade-wielding, and more or less bumbled through his first few journeys, making it up as he went. And Riku... well, he'd had an unconventional start, too.

Kairi was a good student, though. She was genuinely interested to learn anything the Master could tell her, but it was plain to see she was eager to get to the practical portion of her education. She couldn't always hide her face falling the tiniest bit when her friends announced they couldn't join her for the day's lecture. Riku tried not to think about her holed up in Yen Sid's study all day while he and Sora – often joined by Donald and Goofy, sometimes even the King – traveled the worlds investigating darkness activity, or simply training for Sora's next attempt at the Mark of Mastery exam.

“Aw,” Sora sounded disappointed. “If you have to, I guess...”

Riku carefully kept a frown off his face, despite some concern rousing in his chest. “Try not to stay up too late, okay?”

“I won't,” Kairi reassured him. “Anyway, I'm a fast reader and there's not all that much known up to the founding.”

“Geez, Kairi, you could be my teacher soon,” Sora bounced off the step back onto the landing beside them. Looking slightly pleased, she blushed at the comment.

“I like learning these things. I feel like I knew nothing before now.”

“Seriously, be my teacher,” Sora lowered his voice, and Riku was certain it had to do with his frequently-expressed suspicion that the walls literally had ears. “Master Yen Sid's voice puts me to sleep half the time.”

“Everything puts _you_ to sleep, lazy,” Riku jibed.

“Hey. Saving the world is hard work.” As though on cue, Sora yawned. “Speaking of sleep...”

“I'll see you at breakfast, okay?” Kairi smiled, joining in with the good-natured ribbing. “If you don't oversleep.”

“I'll wake him up by any means necessary,” Riku turned to grasp the railing. “That's _my_ sworn duty.”

Sora grumbled as he faced the stairs again. “Why'd we bring along another person to be a jerk to me...”

With an unabashed smile, Kairi caught Riku's arm before he could get too far, putting a foot onto the step to bring herself up and kiss his cheek. “Sweet dreams, Riku.”

“You too. Whenever you get to bed, that is,” Riku gave her a fond look, and wished he could hug her the way Sora would upon receiving his goodnight kiss. He just... After everything, something made him feel like he shouldn't.

Like he'd corrupt her, if he dared.

“Don't worry about me,” she chided, turning and kissing Sora's cheek next. “Night, Sora.”

As he always did, Sora blushed and wrapped his arms around her tightly. “See you tomorrow.”

He waited for the two of them to part and for Kairi to turn to go before calling after her, “Have fun.”

“I'll try,” she waved to them, turning down the hall that branched off to the library. Sora bounded up a few steps, grinning at Riku.

“Ready to crash?” He started up to the room they shared. Kairi had been given her own to stay in, and Lea (despite his absence) had also staked his claim on an individual room, but Riku and Sora had determined that they were perfectly comfortable sharing their quarters.

“ _So_ ready,” Sora withheld another yawn. “I thought fighting Heartless all day wore me out...”

“Are you saying fighting me is harder than world-saving?” Riku asked, and felt a pang of regret for it. He still remembered when those things were one in the same.

If Sora noticed anything amiss (unlikely) he didn't comment on it. “Well, shouldn't it be harder to fight a real live _Keyblade Master_ than just some puny Heartless?”

For a second, Riku was quiet, getting the door to their room. “...Guess so. That still sounds unreal.”

He still wasn't sure he'd _earned_ it.

“Aw, you'll get used to it.” Sora nudged him on his way into the room. “Maybe when we're _both_ Masters, yeah?”

Unable to help himself, Riku started to smile. “That'll help, yeah,” he agreed, and went to his wardrobe, removing his shirt on the way.

Like every other room in the tower, theirs had rounded walls, which meant fitting two beds in cramped up the space almost completely. They didn't mind the close quarters, and it took no time for it to appear comfortably lived in this way. They had been meant to share the wardrobe, but it appeared that Sora had decided the floor and his bed would serve just as well for him. Sora's part of the room was pretty distinctly marked as being the messier side, and he all but collapsed onto his bed to kick off his shoes and start removing his gloves.

Riku only undressed enough to pull on a zip-up hoodie to sleep in, never having grown accustomed to cold nights away from Destiny Islands, and grabbed a pair of pyjama pants on his way to the washroom. Sora reached for his own pyjamas – in a heap on the floor, right where he'd left them after taking them off that morning – and was starting to get dressed when Riku closed the bathroom door.

Riku prepared for bed ritualistically, brushing his teeth and running a comb through his hair quickly – it wasn't _nearly_ so prone to snaring in his sleep as when it was long, but it was still easier to deal with in the morning if he took the time at night – and left the bathroom light on when he exited it.

He'd walked back in on a classic struggle. The collar of Sora's pyjamas, as always, was having trouble accepting the sheer volume of his hair.

“Go brush your teeth, you dork.”

Sora's spiky head finally popped through his shirt. “I _know_ ,” he said, getting up and bumping Riku with his shoulder as they crossed paths.

“You _know_ , but you _wouldn't_ ,” Riku reminded him, pulling up the mussed covers of his bed.

“Would too.” Sora left the door open as he started running the water, picking up his toothbrush.

“You would not,” Riku started to bury himself under his blanket. “And then the next Keyblade Master's biggest worry would be cavities.”

Sora said something that was presumably in protest, but it was completely garbled by a mouthful of toothpaste. Riku put his arms up behind his head to lie on them instead of his pillow and smirked faintly, closing his eyes.

They re-opened when Sora closed the bathroom door long enough to use it for its intended purpose. Riku exhaled in frustration.

Now that he was _here_... Riku was wide awake. Of course he was.

The door opened again, Sora getting the bedroom light but leaving the washroom one on. He pushed the door almost-closed, leaving a crack of light shining through, and then stretched his arms above his head on his way to bed. “Ahh...”

Riku's eyes were affixed on the ceiling, but a wave of affection and gratitude bubbled in his chest. Saved him the trouble of having to get up and adjust the lighting to his preference.

He couldn't sleep in total darkness, anymore.

Sora threw himself face-first onto his mattress with enough force to make it rattle. “So...” he turned his head, looking over at Riku.

“Yeah?” Knowing he'd get nowhere just watching the ceiling, Riku closed his eyes again.

“... Ah, nothing.” Sora climbed under the covers. “'Night, Riku.”

“'Night, Sora...” Riku waited a few moments before opening his eyes again, and looking over at Sora's bed.

His eyes were definitely closed, and though he shifted around a bit before finding comfortable position, he settled quickly.

This was the worst part of any night, for Riku. The time in which paranoia whispered to his brain, and he wondered if he'd lose Sora to sleep.

Sora started to snore after less than a minute, kicking off the covers in his sleep, and Riku's worry was replaced with envy that he never seemed to have any trouble with insomnia. He tore his gaze away, and waited for sleep to take him.

It took hours.

Riku tried not to look at the clock too often. Mostly, he alternated between watching Sora and the crack of light, thinking about what it'd be like to watch the shadows creep up and swallow what little light there was. Thinking about whether or not Sora would ever wake up again. Wondering if Kairi was asleep yet, safely in her room. Mercifully, after two hours of that, exhaustion began to get the better of his brain, and he started to doze.

“Nh...”

That sound, unlike the snores Riku was so used to, was a tiny _pull_ back to the real world. Still, Riku was adrift enough to dismiss it, initially, until the slow breaths became a litany of whimpers.

Riku's eyes opened, snapping to alertness in no time. “... Sora?” he whispered.

He didn't respond, but he was clearly in distress – the sounds stuttered, small, and were accompanied by a soft clicking noise.

Sora's teeth were chattering.

Riku sat up, concern becoming alarm; it was cooler than what Riku was used to, that much was true, but Sora shouldn't be _that_ cold. Getting out of bed, Riku tried again with more urgency, “Sora...”

He'd never seen him sleep like this. Sora usually sprawled, or at least looked comfortable. Right then, he was curled in tight on himself, his arms clamped close to his chest like he was trying to protect it. His breathing was harsher, but in an odd, muted way.

“ _Nn_...”

It didn't sound like panic. They were more like gentle sobs.

“ _Sora_ ,” Riku sat on the edge of his bed, tensely and tentatively shaking him. Eyes well-adjusted, he could make out Sora's eyes twitching under their lids as he stirred, but he seemed to resist waking. Sora balled up more, guarding himself from the touch.

“Sora, wake up,” Riku brought his voice up to regular volume, softly brushing his cheek with his fingers. To his surprise, he found wetness there. “ _Sora_.”

At last, his eyes opened, and Sora turned sharply to look at him.

Riku would've thought he'd be more relieved to see Sora awake. Instead, he felt almost frozen. “Hey... Are you okay?”

He'd never seen Sora...look at anyone, the way he stared at Riku now. His eyes weren't entirely open, and had a sort of hazy look to them, but that could be explained by tiredness. The part that slid unnervingly under Riku's skin was the complete lack of friendly recognition.

Riku's brow furrowed reflexively, all the more worried. Touching his arm, he tried to rouse him a little more, “Sora...”

With a sort of grunt, Sora pulled away and wrapped his arms around himself. He was still trying to protect himself, or maybe warm up – but his skin had been warm to the touch.

In the scarce light, it was hard to tell, but Sora might have been shivering. Uncertain whether or not he was really that cold, Riku still pulled the blanket up around him, and Sora immediately gripped it to pull around himself.

He was eyeing Riku suspiciously. It felt like a personal attack.

“... If I've done something...” Riku kept his voice calm, level, not letting it hurt him.

Sora didn't stop looking at him like that, arm raising to wipe at his cheeks. He had little success with his bare forearm, t-shirt of little use. Wordless, Riku offered his sleeve instead, and Sora quickly used it to scrub at his face.

Then all his limbs retreated under the blanket, shifting it constantly to pull it even tighter. He seemed...almost afraid; on edge, like he was waiting for an attack that wasn't coming.

“... Sora,” Riku touched his shoulder, shifting closer, but the result was Sora backing closer to the wall. Hazy blue eyes stared down at his blanket cocoon, and Riku tried to piece together what the right thing to do was. Leaving him and going back to his own bed was out of the question; Sora was acting too strangely, and whether the source of his distress was a nightmare or...

Was it Riku?

He kept silent, offering his sleeve again, but Sora was blinking back tears with withdrawn determination instead of accepting. Sora chewed at his lip, looking at his makeshift protection, and didn't seem any more distressed by Riku's proximity.

Maybe his presence was okay but his voice wasn't, Riku thought, but couldn't figure out the rationale. Still, the strongest negative reaction had been when he'd spoken.

He felt like his heart was being squeezed. He couldn't understand what had gone wrong, and the worry was all the worse for it.

If it was alright for Riku to be _near_...? Sora was a tactile person, normally. If he really was cold, too, maybe...

He'd let Sora pull away if he wanted to, Riku vowed, and wrapped his arms around Sora. He tried to get close, lending as much body heat as possible.

Sora tensed. Riku stayed quiet, just holding him.

Once, twice, Sora twitched, like he did want to escape Riku's grasp. He didn't, and he stilled. What he settled for was turning his head away from Riku in grudging acceptance.

Riku wrapped the blanket up a little more tightly to hold Sora properly, from the side. He wasn't shivering anymore, and he guessed – hoped – that meant he was okay... Or, approaching something _like_ it.

Sora hunched a bit, the shuddering breaths he took indicating that he might cry again, or that the need to was mounting if nothing else. Cautiously, Riku began to run his hand along Sora's arm, but he shook his head once and Riku stilled.

The room was silent, save for Sora's breathing. Riku remained hyper-aware of it, alert to every inhale, exhale, movement of any sort.

Eventually, gradually, Sora's breathing slowed to normal. He was anything but relaxed, in his arms, but he at least seemed calm.

Riku wanted to ask if he was okay, but didn't speak at all until Sora's head began to nod after a long stretch of silence. Some of the tension had ebbed away, but it hadn't been voluntary or because he'd relaxed. Riku thought he might be falling asleep.

Very quietly, he asked, “Do you want to lie down?”

He half-expected no answer, but Sora muttered in a very un-Sora way, “Yeah...”

Riku frowned again, but released Sora to help lie him down. He pulled the blanket right up to Sora's chin, who clutched it close and shut his eyes.

Sora looked thoroughly exhausted, but still uncomfortable, and...off. Riku didn't want to leave him.

Maybe he didn't have to. Riku remained at his bedside, wanting to stay until Sora was definitely asleep again. He didn't move.

Slowly, Sora's expression relaxed into something peaceful, something that looked much more like his regular self.

“... Sweet dreams,” Riku murmured, echoing Kairi, and got back up very carefully. His footfalls were soft, careful not to rouse him, but all the while he kept his eyes on him.

Sora seemed to be sleeping soundly, even for him.

Riku checked back frequently, never noticing any other change, and only slept after another hour, when he simply couldn't be awake anymore.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, thank you so much for the support already! It's very interesting to read your thoughts.
> 
> For those of you who don't read our other fics, or simply didn't read the notes we left on them, this fic will be updated every Monday and Wednesday for the next two weeks. We are also going to be posting Halloween oneshots once a week, starting this Friday, until the end of the month. Four Halloween oneshots for you, because we love you!

_The second night._

 

The morning that followed the first night couldn't have been more... normal.

Despite yawning more widely and more frequently than usual, Sora looked his usual upbeat self. The sunshine that always seemed to radiate from him was dimmed only slightly by his not-totally-open eyes and tendency to occasionally miss his mouth and jab his breakfast into his cheek.

In short, an ordinary morning-time Sora.

If he had any memory of nightmares, or briefly waking up in a very uncharacteristic temper, Sora didn't mention it. He didn't give Riku any weird looks, or meet the significant ones Riku kept shooting him.

Simply bringing it up with him didn't feel right, and after several prompting questions and attempts to steer the conversation that way got him nothing but confused stares. Riku had no choice but to give up. Sora simply didn't remember, if he had ever been aware of it at all...

After about twenty minutes, it was Kairi who noticed and raised an eyebrow across the table at him, but Riku just shook his head. He'd explain to her later... if it happened again.

For several days, Riku took hours to fall asleep. He kept expecting another strange night, like the one Sora didn't remember, or for something worse to happen than nightmares and odd behavior.

But eventually, it seemed as though that one night was _just_ one night. Strange and worrisome whenever he thought about it, but a contained incident, something to be dismissed, if only he could. Riku had considered telling Kairi about what had happened, but since it didn't happen again, it seemed unnecessary.

Besides, he wasn't even sure how to explain.

Soon enough, they all had bigger things on their minds. Lea was due to arrive back soon, and Yen Sid – he had said with (what had almost definitely been) a weary sigh – wanted Kairi to master the basics before they'd all have to move on to a newer, far less predictable student.

Kairi had finally moved on to practical training, and it was Sora and Riku's duty to instruct her on everything they knew. They were to practice with her in combat, and travel from world to world with her, getting her familiar with the unique challenges of each, and gathering magical abilities for her to fight with.

Everything but sparring turned out to be an embarrassing failure, as far as their 'teaching' was concerned. Kairi had, of course, actually _read_ Yen Sid's books, Ansem the Wise's notes, and Jiminy's journal, which made her far more qualified to point out the features of each world. Unlike Sora or Riku, she could actually identify the Heartless by name, and not whatever colloquialism had come to mind at the time. It made for more than one embarrassing scene when one of the boys called out ' _the fat one!'_ or ' _that stupid flower thing that stabs you with roots, I hate that one'._

Then there was the day when, after being asked multiple times for help with a Magnera spell, Sora had cried out in despair that he'd never used magic as much as he should have, and really had no idea what Magnet magic was for.

A few days into the journey, Sora and Riku agreed that this was as much about Yen Sid punishing them for slacking off on their training as giving Kairi a chance to learn. Possibly more.

Going from one world to another didn't afford them time to return to the tower at the end of the day. Unless they were visiting places like Traverse Town and Radiant Garden which could offer them beds for the night, the trio caught most of their rest on the Gummi ship between worlds.

The two of them – Riku and Kairi – slept a little more fitfully on the Gummi ship. Sora, back to formula, proved capable of sleeping like the dead everywhere they went. The best part of coming home to the tower, Riku thought they could agree, was that they'd probably _all_ pass out the moment they got into bed.

Riku was aching, unpleasantly sticky with sweat, and completely worn out after all their hard work and the quick jaunt back on the ship. But, he was still buzzing enough to hold himself upright and his head high, following his friends onto firm ground.

“I'm really sorry,” Sora was apologizing, again, and helping Kairi work a bramble out of her hair. “I thought you were ready to block...”

“It's _fine_ , Sora. I didn't even need that potion you gave me,” Kairi insisted, energized and bubbly. She'd worked just as hard, if not harder, than the two boys; her dress and knees were streaked with dirt, but she showed no sign of injury, and she was definitely the happiest that Riku had seen her in some time.

“Better than safe than sorry,” Riku sided with Sora on that one, compulsively checking on the both of them before starting to head back up to the tower. Kairi hissed when the bramble finally separated, and took a few of her hairs with it.

“Sorry!”

“It's _really_ okay, it had to come out somehow,” Kairi sounded affectionately exasperated, and picked up a pace to get ahead of them.

“Hey – don't get too far ahead,” Riku instructed. He wasn't at all surprised when she ignored him, opting instead to run on ahead to the massive front doors.

She pivoted and called, “Well, come on then, slow pokes.”

Sora stared at her, then looked to Riku. “How does she still have that much energy? Even I'm dead on my feet.”

“She's gonna be better than us in no time,” Riku pushed hair tiredly out of his face, glancing at Sora. He took a second to pull up his remaining reserves. “... Race you.”

“Aw, come on,” Sora moaned, then sprinted after Riku.

He didn't stand a chance with Riku's head-start. Kairi stood, prepared to call the winner, and brought her hand down like she was swinging a flag when Riku sprang up to wait at the door. Sora was still running even though he knew he'd lost, only a few steps behind.

“Sorry, Sora,” Kairi grinned as Sora doubled over. “Riku beat you, no contest.”

“That wasn't...fair...” he panted, hands braced against his thighs. He may have been hamming it up a bit.

Riku grinned, exhausted. “C'mon, let's get you to bed before you drop.”

“Let's do that.” Sora lugged himself up, defeated.

“Bu-ut...” Kairi laced her fingers behind her back as the doors swung inward without being touched. “Technically I beat both of you, so the real winner here is me.”

In that moment, both boys fully understood what a terrible influence they'd been on her.

“Rematch,” Riku immediately challenged. “Tomorrow. A _proper_ one.”

“You're on,” Sora perked up, “Both of you.”

“I don't mind,” Kairi agreed with an innocent smile.

“Don't you act so sweet, you won't get a chance to cheat next time.”

“I don't have to cheat,” she informed Riku, a glimmer of genuine pride in her declaration. “Maybe I won't beat you guys yet, but I'm getting better. If you think about it, you're basically teaching me to beat you guys at things.”

Riku had long ago worked that out, but Sora seemed to need a minute with that declaration. He looked to Riku, a little wide-eyed. “Oh no, she's right.”

“That's why we've got to work just as hard,” Riku started up the stairs. “I'm not about to let you slack off, Kairi.”

Her eyes crinkled affectionately. “I'm counting on you.”

“Hey, me neither,” Sora chimed in, putting a hand on her shoulder. Then he glanced down the corridor as they reached the first landing, and groaned quietly. “Do we have to report _now?_ ”

“Right after we talked about slacking?” Riku reprimanded, but followed his gaze. He had to admit... He didn't even think he'd be coherent, for that much longer. “...They'll understand if we wait until morning. We should all get some sleep.”

Sora looked relieved. “Maybe they won't even notice we're back?” He tried to step more lightly, towards the next flight of stairs.

“I think we made enough noise already,” Kairi giggled. “But I vote for sleeping, too. I don't even think I could stay awake long enough to shower.”

“It's late, they probably want to sleep too.”

“ _Does_ Master Yen Sid sleep?” Sora whispered, starting up the steps and no doubt straining his sore legs.

“I'm sure he sleeps,” Kairi assured him.

“C'mon,” Riku reached back to lend Sora a hand. “Just another flight of steps... Kairi, you're okay?”

Kairi was a step behind them, one hand supporting herself on the railing, the other brushing dirt from her knees. She looked, for a split second, far more tired than Riku had seen her the entire journey, but then she raised her eyes and smiled again.

“I'll make it,” she seemed amused. Sora, not at all above accepting the help, latched and leaned into Riku.

“You sure?” He adjusted his grip to put his arm around Sora. “I have one more arm.”

Kairi didn't consider for very long, stepping up and leaning into Riku's other side. “When you put it like that.”

Riku chuckled, the weight on each arm making it a lot harder to climb stairs but definitely more tolerable. Around him, Sora was looking to Kairi with a huge, sleepy grin, and Kairi's arm stretched around his back to stroke Sora's hair.

He wished he could end every night like this.

… Okay, maybe without the dirt and sweat.

“Bed,” Riku announced with a tired grunt as they reached the top step, and Kairi detached herself.

“Yes, I'm heading off.” Since he was closest, Riku got his kiss first. Fighting off a yawn, Riku gave her a tentative one-armed hug.

She felt... warm. Softer, and more breakable than Sora had ever been.

“See you in the morning.”

Kairi nodded, reaching over to pull Sora into the now-group hug, and kissed his cheek as well. “Goodnight, boys...”

“Uh-huh.” Sora's head gently butted against hers in an affectionate gesture.

“You're going to take someone's eye out,” Riku sleepily stated. Kairi pushed a spike of hair away from her face and ruffled his hair in the process. With a smile, she let them both go and crossed over to her bedroom, managing to keep herself upright despite exhaustion starting to make her steps visibly heavier.

Probably to say goodnight, Sora opened his mouth, but he yawned loudly instead.

“Agreed,” Riku caught the infection, though he yawned a lot more quietly, and dragged them to their room. Sora stumbled along, and was deposited face-first onto his bed.

“Than'ku,” he mumbled into his pillow, mostly understandable.

“Want pyjamas?” Riku shucked his shirt and jeans, and shut the door belatedly.

Sora turned his head slightly, forcing his shoes off with his feet. “Do I have to?”

In no position to be hypocritical, Riku dropped onto his bed wearing just his boxers. “No.”

“Good.” Sora wriggled out of his shirt after abandoning his jacket onto the floor, attempting to undress while moving as little as possible. Riku had already closed his eyes when he remembered what he'd forgotten.

“Ugh, the lights...” Heaving himself up, he turned the bathroom light on first, and the bedroom one off. Not yet adjusted to the dark, he only heard Sora drop his belt and pants, and he dragged the bedcovers right over his head with gloved hands.

Then Sora's hands poked out, blindly taking the gloves off, too. Riku adjusted the bathroom door and collapsed tiredly into bed.

“Sleep tight, Riku...”

“Mm-hmm,” Riku bundled himself up as best he could, dimly aware that he'd start feeling the cold soon, but for once it only took him moments to drop off after Sora.

He was sleeping more deeply than usual, with no dreams to speak of, when the sounds started.

“Mn... Uh... wah...”

The bedroom had been completely quiet until then. The unusual sounds were enough to make Riku just begin to stir, rolling over onto his side. Someone was speaking – they were nonsense words, to Riku's sleep-addled brain, but even as he began to wake properly the sounds didn't mean anything.

“Ah... Nuh-...”

Sora was restless, pushing at his blankets, and babbling things that could have been words if he tried a little harder. Riku dragged his eyes open wider, but felt like he could still be asleep; there was an unreality to everything, the room still swimming into view.

“Hn...?”

With a whine, Sora's breathing started to pick up. Forcibly, Riku was reminded of _before_. He blinked away sleep, sitting up and interrupting his attempts at speech. “Sora-?”

His head turned towards Riku's voice. His limbs were in a flurry of motion, becoming frantic as he pushed at the covers.

“Sora, are you awake?” Riku quickly got out of bed, reaching out with the intention of shaking him awake.

“Eh-... Eh... er...” Sora was at the edge of his bed when panic broke through the invisible barrier of sleep, eyes flying open and staring at Riku's hand only an inch away.

Riku stopped short. Already, he could tell... This wasn't like the last time.

Sora began to sit up, still breathing hard and looking from Riku's face to the sliver of light shining into their room. He still seemed prone to panic, but there was a faint slump to his shoulders as he visually latched to the two most comforting things in the room.

It was like everything else was totally unfamiliar. As if Sora had no idea where he was.

Riku touched his shoulder. He didn't flinch away, but his eyes, as Riku followed them, were fixed on the bathroom door.

“... The light?” he guessed. “Want me to turn the light on?”

Sora nodded with a whimper. Riku left him, which made his breathing hitch loudly again.

In a small way, Riku was glad he was responding like _this_ instead of the way he was before. Needing the light made more sense to him than shivering and fighting tears. After all... Light was exactly what _Riku_ needed, after nightmares.

He flicked the switch and Sora blinked rapidly, dazzled by the flood of brightness and trying to clear his vision. Riku squinted, himself, but recovered fairly quickly.

“Ah...” Sora reached out towards him, seeming unable to form a name or even a word just yet, but the message came across clearly. Riku came back and caught his hand, fingers lacing through Sora's as he sat on the bed beside him.

With an absent sort of frown, Sora stared at their joined hands, but slowly closed his fingers around Riku's. His grip was tight.

“... Was it a nightmare?” Riku asked carefully, not certain if speaking would make Sora flinch away. On the contrary, though, Sora was more drawn to him when he talked. His eyes moved from Riku's face to the room beyond him, and the only thing he had in common with his behavior from several nights ago was that he didn't seem to know Riku from a stranger.

He didn't seem to be able to make sense of anything at all.

Sora inhaled, and surprisingly, spoke.

“It was...” he began, with some difficulty. “... Alone...”

Riku slid a bit closer, and Sora latched onto his arm at once. “You're not alone.”

“It was dark,” Sora mumbled, “or...bright. White,” he groaned softly, trying to force other words but not knowing how.

“You don't need to talk about it, if you don't want to.” Riku never did, in his place. “We're here, at Yen Sid's Tower, you, me, and Kairi...”

Lea wasn't back yet, but Riku wouldn't have found him worth mentioning anyway.

Sora looked confused, contemplative. He looked from Riku to his other side, like he was expecting someone to be there, and Riku knew exactly who.

“... Do you want me to get her?”

Instantly, Sora nodded.

“Wait here... And hold onto this.” Riku grabbed Sora's pillow, giving it to him to hold onto in place of his arm.

“Okay...” his arms wrapped around it, sounding distant. Riku was all the more hesitant to leave.

He'd just be quick.

“I'll be two minutes.” Unlatching from him, Riku got up to leave the bedroom, and could feel Sora's eyes on his back. He hastened to Kairi's room, silently apologizing for the hour before knocking on the door – not too loud, to hoped, but enough to wake her up.

He had to do this fast, he knew the worst thing he could do was leave Sora alone for long. He knocked again, and this time heard softly through the door, “Come in...?”

Relief spiked through his worry. It didn't even last a second. He opened the door, stepping inside. “Kairi...”

She sat up, looking appropriately as though she'd just woken up, but not like she was about to fall back asleep. Perhaps she'd sensed the urgency.

“Riku? What's wrong?”

“It's Sora, I think it was a nightmare,” he explained, and wished he could make it sound more dire without taking up more time. “He'd like to see you – is that okay?”

Some relief passed over Kairi's face, but she nodded. “Of course. Give me one second.” She plucked a shawl off her bedpost, wrapping it around her shoulders and letting her feet drape onto the floor and tucking them into some slippers. She'd taken the time to change into her nightgown, before falling asleep.

It was then that Riku remembered that he'd gone to bed in only boxers. No matter; they'd been friends for ages, and spent most of that time on the beach or in the water. They'd all seen each other in various states of undress before.

Anxiously, he glanced across the landing to the room he shared with Sora, waiting for Kairi to join him.

“Did he say what he was dreaming about?” she whispered, closing her bedroom door behind them.

“Not really... But he mentioned being alone.”

Kairi frowned.

Riku's strides were long, getting the door and saying, “Sora? We came back...”

“You're here...” Sora let go of the pillow, reaching out again, and Kairi – just for a second – looked startled, as though the person before her was completely alien to her.

Then she looked up at Riku, expression smoothing again. Riku's mind was probably playing tricks on him.

“... Yes,” Kairi's tone was gentle, going to Sora and taking one of his hands. “You had a nightmare?”

Sora was pulling her in closer, searching her face with a deeply thoughtful look. He seemed to dismiss whatever he was thinking, though, and began to smile. Riku let the door close and approached him, sitting on his other side and wrapping an arm around his shoulders to hold him tight. Sora's relief was palpable, and he slowly rested his head on Riku's shoulder.

Riku and Kairi exchanged glances.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Kairi inquired. Gently, Riku massaged Sora's arm with one hand.

“No...but... _you_ can talk, if you want,” Sora said slowly.

A small crease developed between Kairi's eyebrows. She looked concerned, perplexed, and if she was thinking the same thing that Riku was, he understood. He couldn't remember a time that Sora couldn't talk endlessly, and it wasn't like him to clamp up about the subject of a dream.

Fortunately, Kairi was much better than Riku at launching into a conversation as though nothing was amiss.

“Well...” Kairi began, “I've been having a lot of fun training with you two... Even though it's hard work, and I have a lot to catch up to...”

Sora looked mystified. “Catch up...?”

Quietly, Riku expanded, “Kairi only just started with her Keyblade, you remember. She's been doing really well... She even got in a really good parry against me yesterday.”

“... Right.” Sora didn't sound as though he knew that at _all_.

“Well, studying technique doesn't count for nothing, you know.” Kairi ran with the topic. “But I also have the good fortune to train with a Keyblade Master right from the start.”

A shadow of a smile flickered over Riku's face, but it was snuffed by worry.

Sora followed Kairi's gaze over to him. “Keyblade Master...” He looked at Kairi again, seeming just as perplexed as before.

“I'm thinking we should stop by Neverland, next,” Riku suggested, voice still lowered. “Train you in aerial combat before you get too rooted on the ground.”

“Oh gosh... Good thing I'm not afraid of heights.” Kairi leaned in closer. “Sora, remember when we finally made it back to the Islands? You were so excited to tell me you really flew, you almost burst. You said you'd been waiting to tell me since the first time you ever went to Neverland.”

Sora blinked, and for the first time, something akin to recognition registered on his face. “Yeah,” he thought hard. “I...wanted to tell you...”

“Shame you aren't so light on your feet _all_ the time,” Riku teased him.

“I want to tell...” Sora was working something out in his head, and something in his eyes changed, “Kairi.”

He sat up straight at last, and met her gaze properly. He knew her.

“That's right,” she smiled, relieved.

“And you did,” Riku supplied affectionately. “Along with a lot of other things, in a really jumbled order. It's kind of a miracle she understood any of it, the first time. You're a terrible storyteller.”

Sora lifted his head, looking up at Riku as though he'd only just realized he was there, and smiled cluelessly. “What's...?”

Riku squeezed him a little, searching that expression, trying to figure out what it meant. “... But we'd both take your excitability over stories, any day.”

Sora looked confused, but pleased, grin widening and melting into Riku's side.

“Absolutely,” Kairi agreed, running her thumb over the back of his hand.

“You know...” Riku tried, since Sora seemed marginally more alert, “If you do want to tell us about your dream, we're here... We'll listen.”

“Um...” Sora's brow knit, looking blank. Then, alarmingly, he began to laugh.

Riku's anxiety spiked.

“Do you remember?” Kairi guessed.

Sora's laughter faded when no one joined in, expression screwing up as he tried to recall...something. “I...think it was a nightmare...”

“... You mentioned being alone. And 'white'.” Riku had to fight his own grip to keep it from tightening.

Sora frowned. “White, yeah...a lot of white, but also... There was no light? But things can't be dark and also bright...”

Riku responded without thinking. “Sure they can.”

“I think that's true,” Kairi nodded, to Riku's surprise.

“Oh,” Sora squeezed her hand, and reached for Riku's as well, which he immediately took. “It was...empty. But of everything... Not just people.”

There was a glimmer in Kairi's eyes, like she thought she might understand what he was talking about, but she didn't say anything. Riku thought there was a real possibility she might get it better than he ever could; the two of them shared a different kind of connection, similar experiences that he couldn't touch.

A year ago, or not even that long, he would have been jealous of that. Now, he just wondered what it meant, if he could help. He wished he knew what to say.

“Sounds awful,” he spoke finally, because no one else did.

Sora shook his head and started to show a suggestion of a smile again. “But it's just a dream...”

Kairi looked like she was about to point out the danger of that statement, but didn't. Riku was grateful for it.

“You're awake now, with us,” he reassured him.

“Yeah,” Sora yawned widely.

“Getting tired?”

He nodded.

“Do you maybe want to try sleeping now?” Kairi suggested.

As though reflexive, Sora's grip on both their hands tightened. “I, um... Do you guys mind – I mean, would it be allowed if you both stayed here...?”

“Yeah,” Riku didn't even think about his answer, but then glanced at Kairi. “I mean. I was going to be here either way, but...”

“No, I mean...here,” Sora tried to clarify.

“In your bed?” Kairi caught on. “I don't think there's room for three...”

“... Kairi, you could take my bed,” Riku offered. “Would that work?”

“I wouldn't mind,” she nodded, but Sora looked faintly panicked.

“Can you stay 'til I fall asleep?”

“We'll stay right here,” Riku promised.

Sora relaxed promptly. “Then I think I would be able to sleep...”

Kairi only moved enough to let him lie down, tone warm. “I'll watch over you...”

“Should the lights stay on?” Riku asked, shifting to lie down with Sora, one arm around his waist. Sora thought about it, sinking into Riku.

“Hm...” He shook his head. “Unless you guys need it...”

“I think I can get to the other bed in the dark,” Kairi glanced down at the only possible obstructions to her path... All of them, of course, being articles of Sora's stray clothing.

“Bathroom light stays on,” Riku reddened faintly, not having really wanted Kairi to know about that. She didn't seem to think anything of it, though, and Riku felt he should have known better. Kairi was the person least likely to judge him, in this world and every other.

“Sure thing,” she got up to flick the bedroom light off. Sora stiffened when her hand left his, the soft whine from his throat barely audible.

“She's coming right back,” Riku murmured by his ear. “We won't leave you.”

“I'm here,” as though on cue, she came back to sit on the bed and took Sora's hand again. Appeased, he settled into his pillow, exhaling slowly.

Riku was wide-awake again, watching Kairi stroke his hair in even, soothing motions. She met Riku's eyes, concerned and inquiring, and he shook his head imperceptibly.

They'd have to discuss this later. At least she definitely understood why he'd been so fretful.

Sora didn't fall asleep right away. He seemed to be actively combating it, wanting to spend as much time as possible basking in the presence of both his friends, and he only drifted off in spite of himself when Riku nestled closer to him.

Kairi waited for a little while before beginning to withdraw her hand. Riku listened closely to his breathing before lifting his head, speaking almost too softly to hear, “We'll talk tomorrow...”

“Thank you for coming to get me,” Kairi whispered, and didn't make a sound on her way to Riku's bed.

He thought he would be awake until morning, but Kairi had hardly pulled the covers up and murmured, “Sweet dreams,” before he was slipping off to sleep without even knowing it.

When they spoke the next day, neither one of them had any more of an idea of what was going on with Sora than the other, and Sora, once again, had no memory of either the nightmare or what followed.

He was, however, obliviously happy to find that an impromptu sleepover had taken place.


	3. Chapter 3

_A night, not the third, or even the fourth or fifth._

 

Riku had started to form a theory.

After another night like that first one, a fourth in which Sora had sought the comfort of both Riku and Kairi, a fifth... He'd figured out they weren't isolated, that they _were_ the result of nightmares. He just wasn't sure how much of Sora's dreams were his own.

Riku had finally placed where he knew that _look_ Sora gave him from on nights like the first, and why it had taken this long to remember. He had seen such a glare in identical eyes before, but only through a blindfold, or the golden eyes of Ansem.

When Sora slept, when he was the most open and vulnerable even to himself, and closest to the sleeping presences in his heart... Perhaps his dreams weren't theirs, exactly, but influenced by them in some way.

Riku now knew the differences between the two variations he'd encountered, and he'd almost prepared for it to happen again tonight.

It was harder, when Sora was like _this_. Each time, he put up more and more of a fight against Riku, even when he was giving him what he wanted – he wanted the warmth, he wanted the blanket, but he didn't seem to want _Riku_ at all. He would've woken Kairi, if he thought it would make any difference, but he figured all it would do is prevent her from getting a good night's sleep.

So instead, Riku just kept at it, and responded when Sora started rocking back and forth, rubbing at his arms so hard and fast that it looked like he was trying to start a fire. He was trembling non-stop, rocking back and forth, tears escaping in a steady stream and his sobs coming out irregular and quiet.

Riku draped his own blanket over Sora, trying to give him another layer to work with, and settled gingerly on the side of the bed.

“No...” Sora jerked away. Riku bit his tongue, knowing that saying anything would just make it worse, and tried to wrap him up better.

“ _No._ ” Sora sat up, more forceful, and shoved the blanket off of him. Riku crashed to the floor with it.

Shock hurt more than the impact did. But, Riku reminded himself, Sora wasn't _himself_. This was all he could do for him... So he _had_ to do it.

If only he was at all sure that this was helping.

With a slight hiss, Riku got back up, and sighed before he could help himself. “Sora...”

His eyes narrowed, pulling himself closer to the wall and looking at Riku like everything that was wrong was _his_ fault.

“Sora, please,” Riku brushed himself off. “I'll stop talking and I'll even go back to my own bed, if you just let me help.”

Sora shivered more violently, his own blanket in a heap around him.

The door flew open, and a very irritable interloper groused, “Is this _really_ the time of night for a domestic dispute?”

Riku's jaw set in annoyance. This was so not what he needed.

Lea blocked up their doorway, in a foul mood and fully dressed, apparently only just having returned to the tower. Riku might have felt some kind of curiosity as to where he'd been for so long, what mission he'd been sent on or took to task at his own whim, but this wasn't the time.

Shielding Sora a little, Riku steeled himself and started, “This isn't a good time -”

“Is that _not_ what I just said?” Lea crossed his arms. “Keep your arguing in reserve for when people aren't trying to sleep, got it memorized?”

Sora stared, all defenses dropping. Riku only half-noticed, attention more on Lea.

“We'll try to keep it down, okay? _Goodnight_.”

But Lea wasn't listening to him anymore. He stared into the room, irritation melting into surprise, looking right at Sora.

“Hey...”

He stepped inside, and Riku could have hit him. But Sora looked all the more like a deer in headlights, if not for the traces of vexation still lining his forehead.

Lea swept past Riku, picking up fallen blanket and swiftly wrapping it around Sora, pulling him into his chest with it.

Riku's protest cut short, mostly because Sora wasn't showing any sign of one. He looked to be in shock.

Lea sank onto the bed, holding Sora right against him.

“... How-”

“Can you give us a minute?” Lea interrupted. Sora was still trembling, but he was burying himself into Lea's chest, head down.

Riku stared. Slowly, he backed out of the room, leaving the door wide open to listen in. Ignorant to the way Riku's heart was stinging, Sora curled against Lea, pliant to being moved and eased into his lap.

Riku sank against the wall opposite. He could still see into the bedroom.

“Still cold?” Lea was asking in a low voice, unlike any Riku had ever heard from him.

Sora nodded, and Lea unwrapped one arm and leaned over to haul Riku's blanket over them both. He cocooned Sora against him, not completely unlike what Riku had been doing to tend to him.

Were his actions wrong, then, or was it just... _Riku_ that was wrong, not what he was doing?

Lea gently rested his head on top of Sora's, holding him tightly, and started to murmur too low for Riku to hear. The words weren't all that important; he could catch Lea saying something about Yen Sid, his irritating tendency to press for details, nothing that was actually comforting or even that distracting. Still, Sora's breathing became even, and he was listening. Even with the occasional hiccup or sob, Sora breathed, and Riku heard that clearer than anything.

It looked like Lea was just letting him cry, and stifling him with warmth. And talking. Holding a one-sided, aimless conversation.

Riku looked away from the room, and his jealousy gave way to guilt. He felt as though he'd failed the most important person in the world.

He was...disappointed, in himself.

Sora managed to laugh at something Lea said, too short and quiet to really sound like _Sora_ – he always laughed loud, bubbly, happy, nothing like the stranger in Lea's arms.

After another few minutes of Lea's chatter, Sora quietly told him, “Too hot now...”

His voice carried, or maybe Riku was only really listening for him.

Lea removed one of the blankets. “Keep going?”

“Mn... That's good.”

“Good.” Lea raised his voice. “Hey, Riku.”

Twitchy, Riku's head jerked. “...Yeah?”

“We're in cool-down mode. You guys got ice cream anywhere?”

Ice cream?

Riku started to get up. “Uh... I'll go look.”

At least there was _something_ he could do to help, even if it was at Lea's instruction. Departing quickly down the stairs, Riku all but flew to the downstairs, without a clue as how he'd find something sweet and frozen when there wasn't even a kitchen, let alone a freezer.

As it turned out, he needn't have worried so much. As he threw open the door to the dining hall – the only place he could think to _go –_ a silver serving tray sprang up from the middle of the table, hopping down with a clang and bustling over to Riku. He stopped, stared as it made its way over to him.

With gloved hands, it reached up to lift up its cover, presenting Riku with a single wrapped bar of ice cream on the platter.

“Uh,” Riku tried to recover from the strangeness of what just happened, “Thanks.”

He leaned down and took the ice cream bar. The serving tray gave a little flourish of its hand, as if to say 'Don't mention it,' and went back to its place on the dining room table.

Enchanted silverware. Not the oddest thing he'd ever seen, and at least he got what he needed before Sora could be left wanting for too long.

When he returned, it was to Lea's complaints about the pointlessness of snow angels, and how the amount of snow in Christmastown meant they were filled in almost right away. Feeling distinctly like an intruder, Riku knocked on the open door.

Lea nodded, and Riku tried not to consider it an indignity that he'd just been invited into his own room. Riku brought over the ice cream bar.

“Hey, thanks,” Lea reached out to take it, starting to pull at the wrapper. “What kind?”

“It's chocolate, I think.”

Really, his guess was as good as any. He'd thought of ice cream and Sora, so it would make sense for the serving tray to have presented him with Sora's favorite flavor.

“Guess it'll do.” Lea passed Sora bar, crumpling and tossing the wrapper somewhere. Riku got a glimpse of his tear-stained face, when Sora lifted it from Lea's chest. He still looked distrustful of Riku, and seemed to latch a little more tightly as he took the ice cream.

“... I'll be just out in the hall,” Riku turned to go, and this time sat right outside the door. Lea waited until he'd gone to resume talking, giving Sora enough space to bite into his ice cream without having to let him go.

“... And what's the point of planting trees when the branches are gonna get that weighed down with snow? Sure, you can keep the branches from snapping off by _cutting down the tree_ , but that makes the whole thing seem pretty pointless...”

Sora gave a weak laugh, speaking softly. “I don't think that's why...”

Riku slumped right back against the wall.

“Think you wanna sleep yet?”

“I'm not done my ice cream...”

“I know. I mean after.”

“... I'm pretty tired...”

Riku brought his knees up, folding his arms over them and resting his head.

“I'll hang around until you sleep, if you want,” Lea offered.

“Don't _you_ ever sleep?” Sora sounded almost... affectionate.

“Sure. Only during the day, when I'm needed.”

“That's right...”

Riku closed his eyes.

“Hey...”

A warm hand prodding his shoulder jolted him, and he wondered when he'd managed to fall asleep. Riku's forehead had that tender feeling of pressure applied for too long, legs stiff and back aching; it must have been some time.

“Hn-?”

Lea was crouched beside him, the circles under his eyes prominent in the dim glow. The way the shadows played on the purplish color was almost reminiscent of his Nobody's old tattoos. He'd traded in teardrops for deep crescents.

“He's asleep. You can crash now, he should be good for the night,” Lea murmured, keeping his voice way down.

“... Right,” Riku unfolded himself. “Thanks.”

Lea glanced away. “Any time.”

The weird thing was, Riku was positive he meant that.

Lea got up and stretched, sauntering back to the room he'd claimed without another word, leaving Riku on his own. He was slower to get up, trying to work the kinks out of his back before sneaking back into his room as quietly as he could.

Gently, he closed the door, and made no attempt to retrieve his blanket from Sora's side of the room, just in case. Lying down on the bed, he looked over at Sora, staring until he could make out his face.

Completely peaceful.

If he was right... It made so much more sense, now that Riku thought about it.

He had so many questions he wanted to ask Lea in the morning. How had he known so quickly what to do – had he gone through these sort of nights many times before with a different body, and a different voice? What was causing Sora – or... Roxas – to shiver like that?

But as much as he craved answers, Riku knew that it wouldn't matter. Even if he understood the way Lea did, any comfort he offered would be rejected. He wasn't the one Sora needed. Lea could help, when he couldn't.

On the nights Sora's nightmares were colored by Roxas's memories, he'd just have to go wake Lea and hope that continued to work.

Riku closed his eyes, but sleep didn't come at all this time.


	4. Chapter 4

_Many more nights later._

 

Riku was asleep quite comfortably, time acquainting his body with the night climate. He still wore a hoodie to bed, but his blankets had pooled around his waist, and the stillness outside wasn't so bothersome. It had taken Riku ages to realize that he missed the sound of waves on the shore to lull him to sleep, but by the time he'd thought of it, he was already becoming accustomed to life without the noise.

As such, tonight was a fairly good night, and Riku was recovering from a tiring day. Training aside, he'd finally managed to sit down and have a proper, private discussion with Kairi – As weird as it felt to be separated (he'd gotten comfortably used to having his two best friends close by), Sora's mission with Donald and Goofy meant that he'd be gone long enough for them to have some one-on-one.

He didn't think Sora was aware the dreams were happening. Cluing him in might just make him worry needlessly, but Kairi... Not only did she need to know, he was curious.

Curious, and concerned.

“Do you share Namine's nightmares?”

“Share?” she repeated, and shook her head. “No. Or, at least, it's not as simple as that...”

It was almost hard to keep on track – Riku's paranoia opened the door to a whole new slew of questions, wondering if he should have been checking in on her too, all this time. “Is is something you can explain-?”

“Do you think that's what's happening to Sora?” Kairi cut in before he could get too wrapped up in her meaning, giving him a knowing look.

“... I'm pretty sure.”

Kairi hummed in consideration, expression turning skeptical. “I'm not sure it's possible. Either way, it's never happened to me.”

He almost sighed in relief. Then he felt guilty for it. “So... Having Namine sharing your heart... That isn't _affecting_ you in any way? You aren't having nightmares?”

“Namine and I aren't like that, we're... We're not separate, anymore.” She screwed up her face a little, trying to get her thoughts in order...while probably also trying to figure out how she could convey them without putting Riku into a protective tizzy. “I'm not sure how to explain. She's not in my head or anything, but she's not _gone_. Her memories are here along with mine, but to me they're just _my_ memories. I remember being Namine, like it was just another time in my life, filling in the gaps of the me that is Kairi's memory.”

Riku stared, pensive. “... But it's obviously not like that for Sora...”

“Well, maybe it isn't,” Kairi folded her hands in her lap, looking vaguely frustrated at his oversimplifying. “But I can't imagine that any better than you can.”

He could think of a dozen leading questions, but didn't vocalize a single one of them. He just let Kairi talk, let her try to help him to understand.

“We're one person. We see and hear and feel the same things, but we also feel being _together_. That's what being whole meant to her, the last time we spoke.” Unexpectedly, she groaned. “Ugh, it's even weird to even say 'we'. I mean me. Me as in Kairi, and me as in Namine. If there are parts of me – thoughts, or feelings that are more one than the other – I couldn't tell you what they are. Being more Kairi...or being more Namine, it's like the difference between being happy, or sad, or calm, or angry.”

He thought he was following. Mostly. But that still didn't mesh with any of his preconceptions about Sora, Roxas, and the mysterious 'other' he'd experienced.

Sora had seemed wholly _different_.

“Even if I act of think differently, I'm never not _myself_ ,” Kairi went on, and Riku thought that maybe his theory was at least (in part) bunk. “Never just Kairi, or just Namine. And we definitely can't talk to each other, or look in on the other one's dreams, because we already experience both at the same time. They're just thoughts, and they're just dreams.”

Riku exhaled loudly, and offered her a sheepish look. “I'm never gonna understand, really. Am I?”

“Probably not. I'm not even really explaining it that well,” Kairi shrugged apologetically.

Talking to Kairi hadn't exactly confirmed his theory, or made things any clearer, but it had at least laid his greatest fear to rest. What she described didn't sound anything like how it had been to share a piece of his heart with Ansem, feeling the dark presence of him constantly chewing at his consciousness, waiting for a moment of weakness to take over completely.

What it boiled down to was, if Sora was never not _Sora_... It wasn't that he _wasn't Sora_.

Riku was going to think himself in circles. He stopped trying to work it out before he could get caught up in it, when ultimately, it didn't seem to matter that much.

No matter what state he was in, Sora was his best friend, and he'd do whatever it took to help him.

The night previous, he'd had almost no rest at all. It had been a 'Not-Roxas' night – Riku didn't have a second name to differentiate them by – and he and Kairi had been up very late with him. Sora didn't seem to think anyone was missing, as Riku had once worried he might, following Lea's return. Apparently, though, Lea was only needed (or wanted) on Roxas nights.

Riku had things figured out fairly well, now; regardless of _why_ the nightmares happened, handling the aftermath was his priority. Roxas nights were entirely Lea's territory, but 'Not-Roxas' nights were well in-hand between himself and Kairi. They did the majority of the talking, Sora being the most content with constant reminders that they were both right there with him. They were here, he wasn't alone. They wouldn't leave him, and he was loved.

The type of night it would be was markedly different and Riku knew which one was which... Mostly by knowing that, if Sora was in tears, that was when he needed to wake Lea.

So, confident in his systems and knowing he'd wake if he needed to, Riku had managed to fall asleep even before Sora returned. He only lamented that Kairi was also turning in early, meaning neither of them would be awake to bid Sora a goodnight as they always did... But Sora would doubtlessly be too tired to be bothered by that.

If he'd thought Sora would go to bed feeling strangely isolated, Riku would have stayed awake anyway.

“Ngh...”

Rustling. Riku started to return to the land of the living, thoughts drifting through his head like he was dreaming them. He could hear rustling. Maybe Sora had just come back, and was getting into bed?

“ _Nn_ -!”

Riku bolted upright, forcing his heavy eyes open.

Sora was thrashing like he was in pain, breathing quick and shallow – it was dark out, way too dark, obviously past midnight, and Sora was having some kind of fit without even being conscious. He _should_ have woken up, with the way he was clawing at his chest through his t-shirt, teeth clenched.

“Sora!” Riku started for him but didn't touch him; this wasn't a 'Not-Roxas' night, he knew _those_ well, so it had to be Roxas... But this wasn't right. He'd _never_ seen him like this, kicking off the covers and tossing violently, but he wasn't responding, he still looked to be _asleep_ -

“ _Sora-!_ ” The hands. He had to stop him from clawing at himself.

He seized Sora's wrists, and his eyes opened. Sora was frozen, but only for a second.

Then he started to fight Riku's grip.

Riku backed off quickly, and heard the door open behind him. Lea was poorly combating a yawn, obviously having woken at the commotion, but he paused in the doorway.

“Hurts,” Sora forced the word between his teeth, hands gripping at his own shirt tightly.

“What hurts?” Quickly, Riku looked back at Lea, hoping he might have some kind of explanation.

Lea was shaking his head, staring. “... That's not Roxas, I have no idea...”

“Huh-?” Riku stiffened, alarmed.

Sora spoke louder, like he was trying to get something across to a dense child. “It _hurts._ ”

His gaze slid over them both, and his eyes weren't only blank... They were _hateful._ Those features he knew looked _nothing_ like Sora now – Riku would hesitate to even call them human - and he was twitching like he might lunge and attack if anyone got too close.

“Not Roxas,” Lea repeated, taking a wary step back. “Can't help you.”

“Then what's...” Riku started to mutter under his breath, but shook his head. Priorities. He had to address the problem first, and figure out who – or _what_ – had caused it, later. “You leave, I'll handle this...”

“Uh,” Lea hesitated, certainly not out of any inclination to stay and help anyway. “If you say so.”

Unnerved, he closed the door behind him. The sound made Sora visibly twitch again. Starting to push himself out of bed, Sora's movements were sharp but faltering, not quite awake enough for coordination.

Riku thought he should help him stand. More than that, though... He wondered if he should force him back into bed. “Sora, calm down... _What_ hurts?”

He didn't answer. Instead he snarled, and launched at Riku.

Riku almost swore, catching his arms and starting to wrestle him back. “ _Sora_.”

The bed rattled loudly against the floor with their combined, writhing weight. Struggling, Sora tried to throw him off or strike at his face, but didn't have the strength for either. He was tipped easily enough, and Riku pinned him down to the bed for lack of any other ideas.

His heart was beating faster than it ever had in his life. Riku was clueless, backed into a corner even though Sora was the one acting it.

“Sora, stop.”

“Get _off_ ,” he snarled.

“Riku?” There was a knock at the door; Kairi. “...Sora?”

“It's fine, I'll handle this,” Riku called back tersely, looking down at Sora. He didn't move, knees pinning Sora's thighs, hands firmly clenching his wrists. “I'm not going anywhere. What hurts?”

Sora glowered at the question, and began trying to thrash again.

“What's going on?” Kairi sounded all the more worried, and Riku prayed she hadn't heard him through the door. “Is Sora okay?”

Sora should have been breathing as heavily as he was, but he couldn't see his chest rise at all. It looked like he was holding his breath as he threw his weight from one side to the other.

“He's fine, just a nightmare – _Sora. Stop._ ” Riku struggled to stay on top of him, at least determining that he wasn't the one hurting him. “Breathe.”

He did, sort of. His exhale was a huff of irritation, the fight slowly draining out of him until eventually Sora was still. With the way he was glaring straight into Riku's eyes, though, he didn't think it was safe to return to his own bed yet.

Whatever stared out at him from behind Sora's eyes, it was... more than unnerving. It was horribly familiar. The cold eyes of something tainted by darkness.

Riku hated it, because _Sora_ should never have to wear that look, and he hated it because it was too much like looking in the mirror.

Determined not to shrink away from it, Riku met his gaze, and tried to sound firm, “Keep breathing slow until you've calmed down.”

He growled.

“ _Sora._ ”

He looked away from him defiantly, but obeyed in contrast. Sora breathed purposefully deep, a pointed display. It was sulky, childish compliance, but compliance nonetheless. Riku had been as careful as he could with the others, but whoever this was... it seemed only authority would get a response from him, petulant though it was.

There was no more noise from outside – either Kairi had gone back to bed (unlikely) or she was listening in, trying not to disrupt and potentially worsen matters.

“Good. Try to breathe in time with me.”

Sora rolled his eyes, and hissed, “Get off.”

“I will, if you won't fight me,” he bargained.

Sora exhaled hard again.

“Sora. Will you get violent again if I let you up?”

“No,” he replied, unconvincingly.

“I don't believe you.”

“Try it.”

“Not yet.”

Testily, he sighed. Riku stared down at him, trying to figure out what part of Sora could possibly be this angry, this pained.

“... Do you even recognize me?” he asked, partially for his own piece of mind. This couldn't be Sora. He was afraid to think of _him_ as 'Sora'.

He turned his head away, stubbornly silent.

“... You don't, do you.”

Abruptly, Sora pulled at his arms to see if his grip had slackened at all. Riku strengthened his hold.

“You're safe, here,” he told Sora. “With me. Do you understand?”

He didn't seem to, just grinding his teeth together again. Was it fury, or did something still hurt?

Riku wanted to take his hands away and his weight off him, terrified that he was making it worse, but the idea that Kairi was outside the door made that even less of an option. What if Sora lunged past him, and hurt her?

What if Kairi had to retaliate, in self-defense, and Sora hurt _himself?_

“Sora. Answer me.”

“No-... I don't know,” Sora spat.

“You're _safe_ ,” Riku told him strongly, trying to impress upon him everything that he couldn't just come right out and say – that he didn't want to hurt him, that he didn't want to be holding him down and that he wanted to _understand_ what was happening. “You're near your friends, at Yen Sid's tower, and you're safe.”

Sora's eyes narrowed in confusion.

“You're okay, Sora.”

To Riku's bewilderment, he repeated the name back, chanting like he was mocking it, and it got Riku's back up for reasons he didn't even know.

“Don't do that.”

But he shouldn't have sounded defensive. Sora leapt on the weakness, starting to laugh – it was quiet and cruel, and he drawled, “ _So-ra..._ ”

Riku's grip tightened. “ _Yes_ , Sora,” he almost snapped. “My best friend, Keyblade wielder, hero. That's who you are.”

Sora's laughter stopped.

The satisfied look of cruelty on his face crumpled, and he tried to curl in on himself with a surprised groan. “ _Ngh_...!”

His hands flexed, and Riku recognized was he was doing. Trying to summon a weapon that wasn't appearing. The Keyblade _wouldn't_ materialize for him, like this.

Riku took a steadying breath, firm but calm again.

“Stop. Relax. Close your eyes and breathe. I won't let you go until you're calm.”

He didn't have much choice. Sora looked overwhelmed, like he was in agony, shutting his eyes tightly in breathing in short, explosive bursts.

“Just breathe, now... Slow – Sora...”

Abruptly, all tension bled out of him and Sora went limp onto the bed.

“Sora!” Riku drew back, letting him go. His heart leapt to his throat, fear making him dizzy, and Sora's expression changed completely – was he gone?

No. His eyes opened, blinking a few times in confusion, and looking as though he'd just woken up. When he spoke, his voice was a little rough with strain.

“... Riku?”

His heartbeat hadn't slowed in the least, but the _recognition_ changed everything. Riku's throat, a second ago too tight to speak, cleared. The terror passed.

“... Yeah...”

Dimly, he heard light footsteps padding away from the door. So Kairi had stayed, long enough to know that Sora seemed to be okay again.

 _Seemed_ to be. Was he?

Sora started to sit up, an utter lack of comprehension writ all over him, but there was still something vaguely upset about his face. Riku moved back, giving him all range of motion back to him.

“... Are you hurt?”

“No, I feel okay...” Sora frowned, and checked himself over quickly for injuries anyway. Riku wilted, pushing hair out of his face.

He'd never felt so tired and so alert simultaneously, before.

“Riku, was I...” Sora searched for words, sounding incredibly distressed. “I don't know how to ask without sounding crazy... Was I really angry about something just now?”

“... I think so. But you were just dreaming,” Riku tried to console him.

“I feel like I was angry... Were _you_ angry at me?”

“What? No, of course not.”

Sora searched his face for a moment, still obviously ill at ease. With a sudden whimper, he buried his face in his hands.

“... Did I hurt anyone?” he asked at length, desperate to know and sounding afraid of the answer.

“No,” Riku sat closer to him. “Everyone's okay... No one's mad at you.”

Softly, Sora groaned into his hands. If Kairi, Donald, Goofy, or even Lea were present... Sora could have lifted his head, announced that he was fine, forced some cheer. But in front of Riku, he didn't, and he had no intention of making him do that. Carefully, Riku reached for his shoulder.

Initially, it looked like Sora was going to go for a hug. Instead, he tolerated the touch for a moment before shying away. Riku lowered his hand, silent.

He waited. Riku knew then, as he had before, that there was nothing more painful than waiting for Sora to smile again, knowing that he couldn't just then. The world didn't feel right when Sora looked so genuinely troubled.

“... This keeps happening, doesn't it?”

Riku's eyes widened. The break in silence had been almost inaudible, and it was another one of those questions that Sora seemed wary to find out the answer to.

He hesitated, but couldn't lie to Sora, of all people. “Not like tonight. Tonight's the first time I've seen you like-... But, yes.”

So, Sora _did_ have some sense of what was happening to him, even if he didn't properly remember it. Maybe he could feel it somehow, through some connection Riku, and even Kairi didn't understand. Which begged the dreadful question... could he really feel the suffering of all those lives who had passed through his heart? It didn't seem fair, or even possible. To think of him in that much pain was-...

“So it's different...?”

“Yeah,” Riku nodded, “but... I know what to do when it happens. I'll take care of you.”

Unnaturally timid, Sora absorbed those words for longer than he had to, biding the time he needed to summon up the courage to say, “What if I can't -”

He'd changed his mind, and shook his head. Riku couldn't let it lie like that, though.

“Can't what?”

Sora motioned with his hands while he tried to make himself speak. “... Come back.”

It looked like nothing was more terrifying, to him. But, strangely, Riku found the question sort of calming. “That's why I'm here, remember? I always bring you back.”

Bright blue eyes lifted up to Riku's face. The confidence in it put him at ease. “... Yeah,” he relaxed, seeming to remember how many times he'd done just that. “That's true.”

“No matter what happens, I'll always be around to help you... Alright?” Riku searched his eyes, and didn't need to say the words 'I promise' for them both to know he was doing just that.

Nodding slowly, Sora managed to grin, “Yeah. Me, too.”

Seeing him smile was more of a reprieve than anything ever could be. “Do you think you can sleep?”

Sora considered it. “...Not really. I'm wide awake now.”

More than that, Sora's body seemed tense and almost vibrating with over-alertness, but Riku didn't comment on it.

“... Want to spar?” he suggested, instead.

That mischievous light was in Sora's eyes, as if the thought had sparked life back into him.

“Think Master Yen Sid would kill us?” Sora grinned.

“Nah, we're just... Keeping on top of our training?” It sounded like a stretch, but excuses weren't really his concern. Anything to get Sora's nervous energy out of his system, and Riku could kind of go for it, himself.

“Sure,” Sora almost leapt out of bed to get dressed, and Riku followed suit, unzipping his hoodie to put on a proper shirt. Out of the corner of his eye, he kept a steady watch on him.

His concern hadn't faded entirely, but there was nothing left of that furious _thing_ lurking in his eyes. Sora just seemed jittery, dressing with unmasked haste.

“Ready to go?” Riku zipped up his jeans as Sora ruffled his bedhead in an attempt to sort it out, really only making it bigger and wilder. He snickered as he slipped on his shoes.

“C'mon.”

“I'm comin'.” Sora stepped into his own shoes and followed Riku, the shimmering outline of a Keyblade already forming in his hand.

They managed not to wake Yen Sid or anyone else, on the way, and didn't stray any farther than the Gummi ship as they sparred lightly, just putting forth enough effort wear themselves out. Sora achieved that goal first, and wound up falling asleep sprawled backwards in the garden, saddling Riku with the task of trying to get him inside.

It didn't seem worth it. Instead, Riku found them the softest patch of grass he could, and wrapped Sora up in his arms to stave off cold.

They slept under the stars, and it took a small search party to wake them many hours later. The most regrettable thing to come of their excursion was that they'd missed breakfast, but all things considered... It was the best night's sleep Riku could have hoped for.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are very close to the end now! Yes, Precious, very close...
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone reading so far, and especially to people commenting. Most of you have left theories or questions and that's awesome, we love to read them, keep it up. We purposely haven't been replying to anyone, because almost all of the answers would involve giving things away, but we are collecting all of the questions into a master list, and we'll be answering them on our tumblr when the last chapter goes up. So, anything you're confused about, or want answered, feel free to ask and we will add your question to the list, and post the link inside the last chapter.
> 
> As for this chapter, well... if you have ever had or witnessed a non-verbal panic attack, this will be fun for you! And by fun we mean potentially upsetting, please read with caution.

The day the King showed up already wearing his black coat, and carrying a second one over his arms, they all knew something big must be happening.

In his haste, he wouldn't answer most of their questions. Only that this was a journey he needed to take with Riku alone, and that protection against the darkness would be vital. He hinted that this mission could be key to finding something extremely important, but that was all he could say in the time it took for Riku to pull the cloak on, and they left together immediately.

The only reason Riku agreed to separate from Sora and Kairi – they could _all_ tell the idea didn't sit well with him, even then – was because it'd been so long since their nights were disturbed. In fact, a tentative sense of normalcy had been achieved.

Over two weeks of sleeping through the night had brightened Sora's disposition steadily and freed him of his fears.

Sleeping alone the night before had been _weird_ , Riku's presence in the next bed having been a consistent comfort and the natural state of things. But he would be back soon, and in the meantime, Sora had plenty to do.

Like train Kairi and Lea... with very mixed results.

“Feel like I'm gonna have a bald patch...” Sora grumbled, nearly tumbling out of the Gummi ship. His clothes were ashy, and he rubbed at the spot where his hair had been singed.

“It's not so bad, y'know. You'd look okay with a little less hair,” Lea's tone was breezy, but as he followed Sora onto the ground he gave himself away with a traitorous wince.

He was undoubtedly sore, and for the attack on Sora's hair, it served him right.

“Hey,” Sora tweaked his sizzling spike with a frown. “Like you're one to talk.”

Kairi gracefully reached the ground beside them, tilting her head this way and that as they started walking up towards Yen Sid's tower. Her expression showed mild strain for a moment, and she lifted a hand to press her jaw to one side.

The kink she was working out finally eased, but not without a startlingly loud crack that made Lea jump.

“ _Geez_ – What did you just do, _break_ something?”

“ _Finally_ ,” Kairi ignored him, relaxing. “That feels better.”

“Yeah, I had no idea she did that either, until a month ago,” Sora stage-whispered.

“Nearly gave me a heart attack...” Lea groused. “Which, granted, is still kind of novel...”

Sora laughed, though he was still never sure if he was supposed to or not.

“Doesn't your neck get sore after a while doing this?” Kairi grinned, giving a light massage to her tendon with one hand. “Some spells give me serious whiplash, still...”

“Yeah, but I sleep it off, like a _normal_ person who fears breaking their neck.”

“It's 'cause you tense up and hunch your shoulders, like me and Riku keep telling you,” Sora chided. She flushed pink.

“I'm...not used to doing this yet,” she defended herself. “I haven't been able to throw fire and lightning at will like you two have for years.”

“Doesn't come as easily, anymore,” Lea sighed, staring down at his hand and flexing it like it was a stalling machine he was trying to start.

Sora patted his shoulder, with some reaching. “Hey, you'll get used to it.”

“Especially if you have Sora to use for target practice,” Kairi stifled a laugh.

“He'll get harder to hit if I burn away all that hair,” Lea began to smirk.

Sora was starting to get the sense that everyone was out to get him... or at least his hair. Probably something to do with him having the power to boss them around a bit.

He missed Riku. If he was here, Sora would only have to take the brunt of half the misdirected spells, and the _'whoops, I swear there was a Heartless there a second ago'_.

“You're not gonna get far if you burn the hero of light to a crisp...” He complained.

“Then I guess you'll wanna do something about this mop.” Lea had picked up on the hair-ruffling habit from extended exposure to Kairi and Riku, and mussed Sora's hair for emphasis. Sora groaned.

“Do you think a potion could grow hair back? Maybe an elixir if you poured it right on the spot?”

Lea's smirk broadened as Kairi took on a look of wicked excitement.

“Only one way to find out,” she said, in a tone that Sora might have feared if he didn't trust her unconditionally.

In fact, he actually considered it for a moment, before shaking his head. “Wait, never mind. If that really worked, Xehanort would have done it years ago, and we wouldn't be here right now.”

Kairi covered her mouth with one dainty hand to muffle her snort of laughter, aiming for something a little more ladylike, but Lea wasn't quite so reserved. He laughed loud, and Sora gave in to laughing at his own joke, with Kairi's giggles following when she couldn't resist them anymore.

Out of the three, though, Lea laughed the longest, even as they went up the stairs to the massive tower doors. Every so often he seemed to get caught up in his emotions, or had a hard time letting a feeling go – the first time Sora had encountered the phenomenon, it had been unnerving, until Lea had explained what it was _like_ to feel something after being muted for so long.

It was like smothering embers, he'd said. They were still burning, somewhere under the surface, ready to ignite at the first lick of oxygen... But they just couldn't. They had to either die out, or explode. Lea thought it was self-evident which route he'd chosen.

Sora still didn't get it. He was happy for Lea, though, which in itself sometimes struck him as odd. It was hard for him to remember that he and Lea... Or, _not_ Lea, he especially had trouble reminding himself of _that_... fought on opposite sides, once.

Kairi seemed to have the opposite problem. She kept edging out of grabbing reach whenever she could help it.

Heading inside, Lea's snickers had started to taper off but he was obviously in high spirits. Sora caught the door on the swing in and held it to let Kairi pass first, for which she smiled and thanked him.

“So,” Lea stretched out his arms, “I don't know about you, but I'm due for a nap...”

“Yep,” Sora agreed, sighing. “Right after we check in.”

What Lea was doing was definitely not whining. It just borrowed elements from it. “You guys can handle that, can't you?”

Sora's gaze slowly turned on Kairi, wondering if she could somehow be convinced to take care of it for them.

She knew the look too well.

“Nuh-uh,” she headed him off, and grabbed one of their arms each. “Come on, lazy bones.”

“Aw, come _on_...” Lea groaned, but was too worn out to put up much of a fight. Suddenly, Sora felt about ten times more tired, and could do nothing but wait until he could drag himself off to bed.

Until then, he let Kairi drag him to Yen Sid's study, and unsuccessfully struggled not to yawn.

 

_The first night in a long time._

 

Riku's head was busy. He was somewhere along the border between stressed and not, his conversation with Yen Sid and the King having gone on for at least a half hour. He'd only been giving his report about his off-world mission with Mickey, and there had been plenty to say.

All they'd discovered had only set them back, but it was still of great interest to the older Masters. He and Mickey had searched almost every entry they had ever used into the Realm of Darkness, but all were destroyed, or inaccessible.

Riku had relinquished the part of his darkness that allowed him to travel freely within it almost a year ago, and though it could have been useful now, he couldn't bring himself to regret it.

Still, for all they had found out, all they had discussed, there were now only more questions, not answers.

Really, though, he was just glad to be back. It was weird to think that he'd started to think of the tower as _home_ more than the Islands; they may have been where he was from, but it was like he'd thought when he was young and reckless. There was nothing there, for him.

He'd missed his friends. He was half-tempted to wake someone before going to bed, but that was a childish urge that passed quickly. Riku opened his bedroom door, as quiet as he could manage – Sora would no doubt be peacefully asleep, almost dead to the world the way he had been for weeks.

Light from the hallway fell across Sora's form, and he looked anything but peaceful. His body, horizontal, was straight and rigid. Arms were at his sides, his head pointing stiffly forward, up at the ceiling.

His eyes were open.

Unnerved, Riku closed the door, about to go flick on the bathroom light but belatedly noticing that had already been taken care of. Without so much as removing his shoes, he approached the beside, checking if he was awake with a soft, “Sora?”

No response. Closer, now, he could see that his eyes weren't fully open, not really – more half-lidded, and glazed. He wasn't awake. And this wasn't like the other times.

Riku would have preferred the violent, restless dreamer to this catatonic one.

“Sora... What the hell-?” Throat clamped like he was being strangled, Riku bolted the remaining distance and knelt down, hastening to check his breathing and heartbeat.

Shallow, but he didn't _look_ like he was in distress. He looked... _blank_. “Sora, wake up...”

Trying to evoke a response, Riku shook his shoulders, trying not to jostle his head in the process but growing more frantic when there was just _nothing_. “Sora, c'mon, wake up... Please...”

Almost inaudibly, Sora's breath caught in his throat. From there, it became something marginally more regular. Riku thought he might've even seen Sora blink as he ran a hand through his hair, studying Sora's face. Yes – that was definitely a blink.

 _Was_ this a nightmare night, or was something else seriously wrong? Could Sora be sick?

“Come on, Sora,” he muttered, like a mantra or invocation, like if he said it enough he would eventually react. Miraculously though, it seemed to _work_ , if only a little. His eyes blinked again, once, twice, gaining a bit of light to them – he was conscious, but limp.

His eyes flicked to Riku's face. He showed no other sign that he might move.

“... Sora...” Hoping he might be prompted into motion if Riku helped, he sat Sora up, expecting him to be dead weight in his arms. In a way, he was, lifelessly heavy but not resistant at all. He was positioned as easily as a doll, and Riku guided him to sit up against the headboard, keeping him upright.

“... Can you hear me?”

Sora's head fell slightly forward with gravity, eyes unfocused and gazing somewhere past Riku. He tried to lift his head, and it dropped again, so heavily it made Riku's stomach lurch. He hastened to sit on the bed in front of him, cupping Sora's jaw to hold his head up.

“Look at me,” he urged, less hysterical than he felt.

Sora's eyes wavered around Riku's briefly, but managed to meet them. Riku held his gaze.

That split-second sense of deja vu struck him as it had with Roxas, like he was looking at Sora but seeing another person entirely, like something out of a memory. But it was gone too quick to linger on who it could be, or if the feeling meant anything at all, and Riku had more urgent priorities.

“Can you hear me?”

When he nodded, it was so marginal that Riku felt it more than he saw it.

“Good... Do you think you can speak?”

His mouth opened, obviously trying, but he seemed unable to form a word, much less speak one. With an imperceptible exhale, Sora closed his mouth again.

“That's okay. You don't have to,” Riku soothed, and Sora's eyes started to drift down again. “Keep looking at me? ...Do you want me to just talk to you?”

It looked as though eye contact was too hard for Sora to maintain. His shoulders raised a scant half-inch to shrug them.

“... Okay.” Riku didn't want to press him. “You don't need to look at me, just breathe slowly and signal me if something's going wrong. I'll take care of you.”

The almost-a-nod followed his words. His breathing didn't seem _dangerous_ , anymore, but it was still too light. If it were any quicker, Sora may have been hyperventilating, but he was too locked in to himself to manage it. Riku wasn't sure if that was for the better, or worse.

“Do you remember trying to meditate?” Riku tried. “I thought Master Yen Sid was going to break something out of frustration, we kept messing up each other's concentration. Something like that, though... The breathing, anyway... We could try that together.”

No response, no recognition. Riku wondered if he remembered.

“Can you breathe when I do?” He reached for one of Sora's hands, holding it to Riku's solar plexus. “Just try to be in sync with me, and I'll talk you through it.”

Perhaps the touch helped, or Riku's heartbeat. Sora managed to keep his hand there, and nodded a little. Questions were harder for him than instructions; that was fine, Riku could work with that.

With one hand over Sora's and the other still holding up his chin, he said, “Breathe in...” Riku did so, himself, guiding by example. “And out... In... And out...”

He counted out the seconds on each inhale, on every exhale. Sora was silent all the while, but he could feel air brush his wrist and knew Sora was in time with him. For several minutes, Riku just breathed with him, slow and steady.

Eventually, he smiled. “You're doing good... Is it okay if I check your heartbeat? Can you hold your head up?”

Sora lifted his chin a little, communicating that he could. Riku freed his hand to hold over his heart.

Regular, mostly – a little quick but it wasn't scary. “That's pretty good...” Riku glanced up at him. “Of course, if anyone's bound to have a good heartbeat, it's you. Strong heart means strong heartbeat, right?”

Faintly, Sora's lips twitched. Riku's hand strayed from his chest, wrapping around the one limp at Sora's side.

“... I won't ask what you were dreaming about. But whatever it was, you're not dreaming anymore. I'll protect you from anything, even what's in your head.”

Sora loosely curled his fingers around Riku's.

“You don't have to talk, but you can nod. If you want to say 'no', just don't do anything. Do you want a blanket?”

He thought Sora might have been cold, the blanket having been pooled somewhere around his waist when he walked in, but there was no response but stillness.

“Food?”

Sora thought about it and nodded.

With no other experience to go on, Riku thought of Roxas and suggested, “Ice cream?”

There was a flicker – something was there, in Sora's head, but he couldn't get it across by doing anything but raise his head a little.

“I'll get you one,” Riku hesitated. “Will you be okay here, for a minute?”

It took Sora longer to nod, this time.

Just in case, Riku thought he'd offer an alternative - “Would you prefer to come with me?” - but as lifeless as Sora was, he didn't think he'd even be able to get out of bed, let alone stand and walk. All the same, Sora didn't show any sign of responding.

“Alright,” Riku's hands slipped away, getting up off the bed. “You stay here. I'll be two minutes.”

Without the support, Sora slumped harder into the wall and lowered his head. Riku crossed to the bedroom door, and didn't waste time closing it. He rushed down the stairs, in a flurry as he darted down steps, burst into the dining room and made straight for the helpful serving tray.

It had been so long that he feared there wouldn't be anything for Sora, that the tray might have forgotten what he needed. Thankfully, Riku proved to be the forgetful one – the magic in this place didn't expire, and the tray helpfully provided him a bar of ice cream.

At Lea's instruction, Riku had somehow convinced it to start producing sea salt. Though _he_ would have argued that it was still Sora's body, and his tastes, so his own favorite should work better, Riku couldn't actually put up a fight in the moment when he just had to help any way he could, as fast as he could.

“Thanks again,” Riku expressed his gratitude in a rushed breath as he snatched it, turning on his heel and hastening back upstairs.

Sora hadn't moved, but he expected that. The scene read like two near-identical pictures, side by side – 'spot the difference', in which there was only one. Sora's eyes had closed, and didn't open even when Riku came back to sit on the bed with him.

He hadn't fallen back asleep... If he _had_ , Riku didn't think he'd still be sitting up. Unwrapping the bar, Riku gently asked, “Can you hold it up?”

Sora's eyes opened to stare at the offered ice cream bar. His hand turned over, and he stared at it instead, but neither his arm nor his head lifted up.

Riku felt something in his chest lurch.

“... Here,” he reached out, heart pounding in far too pronounced a way, and gently raised Sora's chin again. He held out the bar, just barely touching the end of it to Sora's lips, hoping he had enough control over his muscles to do the rest.

It took Sora another moment before he tilted his head forward just slightly, and closed his mouth around the end of the bar. He sucked on it slowly rather than bite down, and it was far too telling. If he'd been himself, he would have bit into it. Sora didn't have the patience to eat ice cream any other way.

“Keep breathing even when you're eating, alright?” Riku took one of Sora's hands, again, returning it to that spot against his chest. Sora really had forgotten, his eyes closing and taking an audible breath through his nose. His lips were ringed by saliva and liquefying ice cream.

“You're doing fine,” Riku told him, numbly, and hated himself for being so uncomfortable. He felt like he'd just lied.

All the more so, when Sora choked and coughed, having tried to swallow and breathe at the same moment. Riku drew the ice cream bar away, worried.

“Hey... Slow, just go slow, you're okay...”

Sora breathed in through his mouth, a little raspy and wet, and tried to lick some of the mess off his lips. It didn't make much of a difference.

The effect was infantile. Riku identified the tightness in his gut as pity, and felt a terrible wave of guilt and horror for it.

“Are you breathing okay?” He made an extra effort not to sound like a gentle caretaker. He had to talk like everything was normal, had to sound like someone Sora knew.

Nodding just a little, Sora took a slower, deeper breath, like he was displaying his capacity for it. The fingers against Riku's chest curled listlessly, a reminder to Riku to keep his own slow and steady. Sora was still following his lead.

“Okay... Here, you can keep on...” Riku trailed off, holding up the ice cream again, and Sora leaned forward a bit to put his mouth around it again. There was mild frustration in his expression when he was unable to avoid melted ice cream missing his mouth, a drip landing on the front of his shirt.

Riku didn't speak again. He held it still, deciding he'd get Sora a new shirt if he was comfortable letting him remove it.

Stripping him when he was like this, though, would feel... It made Riku shudder inside his skin, and he almost had trouble discerning why. Normally, there was nothing off about the two of them being shirtless (or more) in front of each other, but when he was like _this?_ So helpless, almost babyish...

He didn't actually think he could bring himself to do it. But what kind of friend even _was_ he, that he couldn't help Sora in such a simple task?

When the bar in his hand became more stick than ice cream, Riku changed his hold and Sora licked at the remainder instead. He allowed him to finish it off, then got slowly to his feet.

“I'm just gonna grab a tissue.”

Heading to the bathroom, he discarded the popsicle stick and washed off his hands – some of the stickiness was on his fingers, very unpleasantly – and grabbed a handful of tissues, taking the time to moisten a few before going back to clean up Sora's face.

Melted blue had smeared all over, from his cheeks to his chin. Gingerly scrubbing his face, Riku watched Sora's shining eyes lower and his cheeks flush with embarrassment.

Riku bit the inside of his cheek. He would not pity Sora if he could help it. Sora was the strongest person he knew, had _ever_ known, this wasn't... This wasn't him. This wasn't his fault.

He wished, desperately, that he didn't feel like a father with his newborn. He wished it wasn't so hard to see Sora like this. He wished... Most of all, he _hoped_ that Sora didn't feel weak, didn't feel shame, but if he did, Riku wished he could tell him not to.

If only he had the words.

Riku put the dirty tissues aside – they weren't a priority – and sank down by him again. Sora opened his mouth, like he was about to say something, but all he managed was a big sigh.

“You're okay,” Riku's lips twitched as he fought a frown. “Want me to hold you...?”

Honestly... Riku suggested it for his own benefit as much as Sora's. He thought it was a 'no', though, for the amount of time it took Sora to respond. He was trying to think of something else to suggest when Sora's eyes found Riku's face, and he nodded.

“Oh – okay,” he scooted closer, sitting right by him, and pulled Sora against his chest. All of Sora's weight rested against him, arms limp at his sides. Riku didn't expect him to be able to hug, or anything like it. He listened to Sora's breaths – regular, what a relief – and tightened his hold just a little. Not to squeeze... Just so Sora could, hopefully, feel through his haze.

“You'll be alright... I won't leave you...”

Unconsciously, Riku stroked his arm, and murmured infrequent variations of the same. Sora would be okay. Riku wasn't going anywhere.

Gradually, lightly, Sora nuzzled his shoulder. Riku almost smiled.

“... Mn...”

Riku paused, heart leaping at the sound. “... Yeah...?”

It was a sound; that was _something_. There was another noise that followed, a soft whine... And then his deep breaths became short. He was crying.

“Sora...”

His head lifted at the sound of Riku's voice, tears trickling down his cheeks and confusion in his eyes. Riku began to move, getting around Sora to press his chest flush to his back.

“Here...” he inhaled, and wrapped his arms around Sora again. “Breathe with me...”

“Ri...ku...”

“Yeah,” Riku swallowed hard, a bit hopeful despite the way Sora had slumped forward without the support against his head, the barely-there quality to his murmur. “I'm here...”

Sora didn't have anything else to say. He sniffled, and dragged his arm up to wipe his eyes with visible effort involved.

“You're alright, you're here... I'm here...”

“Wh's...?” Sora mumbled.

“You just had a dream, you're with me now...” Riku bowed his head, looking over Sora's shoulder.

“Oh...” It took Sora some time to start turning around, but when Riku realized that was what he was trying to do, he was quick to help. The tears had thickened to a stream, but there were no sobs – Sora didn't have the energy to sob, or do anything but let them fall. His arms went around Riku, but they were weak. Not like Sora's regular hugs.

To make up for it, Riku hugged him firmly. He'd be strong if Sora couldn't.

Sora calmed down enough to speak after some time. “Did something happen...?”

“Another nightmare... I think...” He was sure. “But it wasn't real, this is.”

“It hasn't felt like this before...” Sora mumbled. “I hate this feeling...”

“What feeling...?”

Sora spoke slow, trying to figure out the words he wanted to use and sounding lame for not having adequate ones. “It's just...sad. But worse.”

Though he couldn't have known it, 'sad' was probably the most impacting word he could have used. Riku had never known Sora to let sadness get the better of him, and to see it happening now... He thought he might understand.

Sorrow, and the irrational feeling that the sadness would never go away.

“... You're gonna be okay,” he said, because he knew from experience.

“... Okay.” He didn't sound convinced.

“You're the strongest person I know,” Riku went on, wanting to make sure Sora _knew_ , could feel it through whatever abyss he was in. “Always have been...”

Sora's strength was coming back to him incrementally, and he used it to hug Riku tighter. “I dunno, Kairi's getting pretty strong...”

It would have been so normal for Sora to laugh the same words, or whine them jokingly, that Riku could imagine hearing it now, overlapping the small voice Sora had actually spoken with.

He almost managed a smile. “She'll give you a run for your money, at least.”

That seemed to spark something back to life, and his tone became a little less vacant. “Oh yeah, and Lea almost burned my hair off today.”

Sora said it like they'd been in mid-conversation on a similar topic, and perhaps Kairi's prowess with her Keyblade had been the start of it for him. Nonetheless, it was good that he was _talking_.

Except, wait - “ _What?_ ”

“Yeah,” Sora spoke into Riku's upper arm. “He flared up too much and my head caught a bit...”

Riku frowned in annoyance. “He needs to work on his control, I keep telling him...”

“He does,” he agreed. For less than a second, Sora's lips moved, like he'd smile. He couldn't maintain it. Riku wouldn't have noticed if he hadn't drawn back a little bit, starting to search for the damage and needing to run his fingers through it to find the singed hair.

“... Yeah, there it is...” he sighed.

“S'it bad?”

“You'll need to trim it,” Riku winced apologetically. He didn't think Sora had bothered to cut his hair in _years_.

On the one hand, it could be a blessing in disguise. It _was_ getting a little out of hand.

“If I cut my hair...” Sora vacantly thought aloud, “you should grow yours again...”

“Huh?” Riku blinked. “... I mean, I could.”

It had been a little less cumbersome in battle – the bangs, if nothing else. Chopping off his hair had heralded a new beginning for Riku, more than having been to serve a practical purpose, but he'd kind of become attached to the benefits. Plus, he didn't run through shampoo nearly so quickly.

Still, Sora's nod was the most definitive gesture he'd shown himself capable of. “You should.”

“Sure,” Riku agreed, because ultimately it didn't matter that much to him. To his surprise, Sora smiled, genuinely cheered a little.

“Kind of miss it long, anyway,” he added. There were benefits to it being short, but... The vain part of him kind of thought it didn't _suit_ him, as well.

Sora squeezed him, and buried his face against Riku's shoulder. The tears had slowed to a stop.

“... D'you want me to sleep here?”

There was hesitation. “... I don't know...”

“I'll sleep in my own bed, and it you want, you can wake me up,” Riku suggested. “Whenever you're ready to sleep.”

“I'll try now,” Sora nodded.

Reluctantly, Riku unwound his arms, and sought a different shirt for Sora to change into. He took one from the foot of the bed, knowing he wouldn't care what he wore so long as it wasn't sticky. “Here – you should change...”

Sora glanced from the shirt Riku was holding to his own, as though he'd forgotten that it had been soiled. That look of embarrassment returned, but it didn't last, stripping the dirty shirt off in one smooth motion and pulling on the other one. Predictably, Sora just let the sticky shirt drop, but Riku stooped to pick it up and tossed it over to the laundry basket in the corner.

“Thanks, Riku,” Sora tugged the shirt down, looking up at him with brief consideration. Then he leaned up, and kissed him on the cheek, exactly the way Kairi would.

Relaxing, Riku managed to smile. That small gesture made him feel like... Sora was going to be okay. “Goodnight, Sora...”

“Night,” he grinned up at him, then shifted to pull the covers up over himself and lie down. Riku turned to go over to his bed, almost forgetting to get changed into pyjamas.

Maybe he was still a little frazzled, just as there had still been sadness in Sora's eyes when he smiled.

Riku climbed into bed, appropriately changed, and looked over. Sora was hugging his pillow to his chest, eyes closed.

There were no more disruptions in the night, but Riku thought – even as his consciousness slipped away – that Sora might have been only pretending to sleep, keeping his eyes closed for hours until the empty feeling became oblivion and the tired musings became dreams.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We did it! Our first multi-chapter fic to come to an end! Hopefully it is a good end. We will just say this: if you thought it couldn't get any gayer, it's going to get much gayer.
> 
> Tearful, disgusting thank you's to everyone who has left kudos and comments. A very special shout-out to apaperflower, LittlebbKiokat, and Pas_dAutres, who all left comments, questions, and guesses on almost every chapter. Reading your thoughts and reactions made this so much fun to write for us.
> 
> Anyway, we're done being sappy. Onto other people being sappy.

Riku had finally reached the inevitable conclusion that he couldn't just keep handling this on his own. He needed to stop handling it, and _fix_ it.

Kairi and Lea's help had been invaluable, when he'd needed it, but Riku had been so self-assured. _Too_ assured, so determined to be the one in control, the one who could help Sora regardless of whether or not he had insight into what was happening to him.

He knew _Sora_ , and he figured that was enough.

But it wasn't. Riku was shaken, and even though it felt woefully childish to go to Yen Sid... It was more adult to look to his betters, when he needed to. He was a Master, but no one ever said that a Master couldn't still be learning.

The following day, he went to Yen Sid and told him everything. The nightmares, the behavior, Sora's fear of losing himself to sleep. He told him about his discussions with Kairi, about her and Namine dreaming the same dreams and being truly one in the same.

And Yen Sid nodded sagely, as though it made perfect sense to him.

“We should have anticipated something like this,” he mused, one hand running through his long beard. “Sora's heart has always been unique, and the Nobody that was created when he temporarily lost it was, too, unique.”

“Unique how?” Riku tried not to sound pushy. Yen Sid didn't seem _concerned_ , the way he'd expected, but perhaps he hadn't grasped the gravity of the nightmares. How unsettling it really was, to see Sora barely able to lift his head, vacant sadness in his eyes...

“Sora and Kairi each had different experiences with their Nobodies, as Roxas and Namine both wanted very different things. Namine wished to rejoin with Kairi in order to be whole – she was absorbed fully, creating the single entity that Kairi _is_. Roxas, however,” Yen Sid folded his hands in front of him, needing to tug his fingers free of a snare in his beard. “Roxas wished to be a _person_. Sora accepted Roxas into his heart without destroying him, and as such, they are not one in the same way that Kairi and Namine are herself.”

Riku slowly nodded, trying to show that he followed. He'd heard this before, he realized. Ansem the Wise.

“ _That is a statement to the love in his heart for other people, and the bonds that tie them together.”_

And the heart was malleable; 'quick to grow'. Sora's heart was definitely extraordinary... But Riku had already known that.

“Roxas dwells within his heart, along with anyone else to have shared it. By your count, you think there is -”

“Four,” Riku confirmed. “I don't think it's more than that. I remember... During the Mark of Mastery exam, I think I spoke to them, but there were only three.”

Roxas, for certain... But then those two others. Someone who _looked_ like Roxas but wasn't, and a girl...

There could be countless more. Ansem the Wise had told him as much, back then... That hearts might sleep in the darkness of Sora's, or may have been welcomed.

“Four, yes,” Yen Sid frowned very slightly. “Hmm. It stands to reason that delving into his heart during the exam, when he was vulnerable, allowed you to come face-to-face with the three you speak of.”

“So they're always just... _there?_ Could they possess him, or -?”

Riku's worst fears were on the precipice of reality, but Yen Sid gave him that stern look, one that told him that Riku had interrupted.

“That was no ordinary sleep. When Sora sleeps naturally, he is simply on a more level plane with the hearts slumbering within. He is not being possessed, merely dreaming with those other presences, and that may cause him to briefly forget who he is or change his behavior accordingly. Sora is in no danger from them, only, perhaps, from himself.”

Wilting with relief, Riku audibly sighed, some of the tightness that had been preemptively coiling around his chest easing.

“Their hearts may continue to affect him periodically, so long as they rest there. That may not be forever,” Yen Sid soothed him.

“That's right,” Riku murmured. “Their hearts...”

“ _... surely we remember as children the way our hearts made everything seem so shiny, and perfect. Sora has a heart like that – uncorrupted, willing to see the good before the bad. When he sees the heart in something, it then becomes real.”_

“When a connection seems broken, he may have the power to mend it,” Riku echoed Ansem the Wise's words, as though he'd only just heard them. “All Sora needs to do is be himself, and go wherever it is his heart takes him.”

“And all _you_ need to do is continue as you have been.”

Riku looked up sharply, no longer lost in thought. Yen Sid gave him an encouraging look.

“You have done well, Riku. I am glad you told me all of this, and I will be sure to inform King Mickey what has been happening, upon his return. In the meantime, look after Sora. I believe there is no one better suited to the task.”

One hand self-consciously rubbed over the back of his neck as he nodded, heartened to hear it.

“Thank you. I will.”

 

_The current night._

 

Sora had claimed the bottom bunk. Riku would have argued that the arrangement was unfair, if he wasn't already snoring away below.

So predictable. Sora was _always_ the sort to claim the top bunk just for the novelty of it... except in this one instance.

Sleeping on the Gummi ship was always a bit of an ordeal, evasive maneuvers jostling Riku periodically and successfully waking him up every time. Sora may have been disturbed by the ship's jerking, but he was in such a deep sleep that it wasn't rousing him.

At least Riku managed to nod off again quickly, every time he was turned over in his bed. But the top bunk really wasn't a friendly place for a light sleeper to be, and a sharp patch of turbulence triggered the inevitable.

Riku tumbled hard out of his bunk, jolted awake before the impact and hitting the floor with a hiss.

Sora sat straight up at the loud crash, but didn't even open his eyes. He dropped right back down to his mattress with a miserable sound, and slept on.

“Ugh...” Wincing, Riku rubbed his head and glowered at nothing in particular. “Great...”

Now he had to climb back up to the top bunk, ignore the ache in a very undignified place, and get himself back to sleep, if he even _could_.

There was a low moan of distress that cut through Riku's silent grousing. Sora rolled over, kicking and lashing weakly at nothing in particular. Glancing up (and still reeling a little), Riku took in the expression on his sleeping face as he thrashed over to his other side with a whimper.

His heart clenched with sudden recognition. The vicious stranger in Sora's dreams had never appeared since that night so many weeks ago, but if this was what it _looked_ like...

Riku sat up onto his knees, scrambling over to him and trying to catch his wrists to keep him from clawing at himself. “Hey – it's alright, you're dreaming.”

No, it dawned on him, this wasn't the same as _before._ Riku still thought about that one violent night with dread, not knowing when another one like it might occur, but the difference was distinct – Sora looked frightened, not in pain.

Sora pulled at his grip but paused in his tossing, his expression twisting into something strained.

Riku moved up onto the bed, keeping hold of his wrists, just on the off-chance he was wrong. “Sora.”

“Mn -” he pulled back and groaned, eyelids flickering.

“You're okay,” Riku's brow creased, studying him. Who _was_ this? “Just wake up and I'll help you.”

He hadn't actually expected a response apart from more mumbling. It was a shock when Sora sat up sharply and knocked him back, Keyblade summoned, and Riku was sent sprawling to the floor for a second time.

Riku launched himself back up to his feet with an irritated groan. If it had been the first instance of bruising his behind tonight, he would have suppressed that, for Sora's sake.

Then the reality of the situation kicked in and he was tempted to summon Way to Dawn, instincts telling him _danger_ and _defend_. Sora's Kingdom Key was still drawn, eyes open and breathing hard as he looked wildly around the room.

“... Sora, calm down.” His own Keyblade could be perceived as a threat. Riku kept his hands free.

Head turning sharply to him, Sora started at the sound of his voice and stared, plainly not expecting him to be there. “Riku...?”

Whatever Sora's surprise, Riku's hit him so strongly he thought he might have taken a blow to the head.

Sora recognized him.

That had never happened before.

“... Yeah,” he tried not to sound too stunned. “It's me...”

“You were-... but how...?” Sora's voice was thick was confusion and sleep, but his resolve had come back and he leapt out of bed in a display of even less grace than usual. Riku tensed, not sure if he was about to be attacked, but still didn't summon his Keyblade.

He was determined not to _need_ to defend himself. “You were _dreaming_... It's okay. Sit down.”

“ _No_ , there were -” Sora's voice cracked. “They were _everywhere_...”

He looked ready to charge out, eyes becoming wild and still breathing as hard as though he was being pursued. Riku thought Sora might push him aside and keep going, but _where_ was a mystery.

“No, you're safe,” Riku held his hands up defensively. “There's only me.”

“Bu-... But, I...”

“Just me,” he took a careful step closer. “You're on the Gummi ship. Remember? We were going to meet up with Kairi.”

Sora jerked like a startled rabbit, twitchy and darting his eyes this way and that. “Kairi? Where's Kairi? Is she okay?”

“She's fine. She's safe, she's with the King. We're on our way to see them,” Riku tried to pacify him, and he seemed to deflate somewhat.

“She's safe...?”

“Yeah. We're all safe.”

“Oh.” Sora looked sharply over his shoulder, grip on the Kingdom Key still tight. Riku wasn't sure if he'd really heard him, or just thought he'd heard something else. It was entirely possible he had – maybe something had collided with the hull... Or maybe it was in his imagination.

The Keyblade was only keeping Sora prepped to attack.

“... Could you disarm?”

“Huh?” He looked back around.

“Your Keyblade. You don't need it, no one's gonna attack.”

Sora gave him a cautious look, then resumed trying to spot a threat that wasn't there. “You're sure?”

“Yeah,” Riku stepped forward, tentatively offering a hand. “I'm sure.”

Without hesitation, Sora took his hand, and let the Keyblade dissolve into light.

“I'm here. Everyone's safe.” Riku gently squeezed his hand. “... Want to sit?”

Slowly, Sora nodded. Riku brought him along as he turned them and sat down, letting Sora tuck himself right against his side.

It felt so...normal. There was no unreal sense of disconnect, no disconcerting element of looking at his friend and only seeing a stranger. Riku kept hold of his hand, and wrapped his other arm around his shoulders.

“... Nightmare?”

“I guess so,” Sora looked down at their joined hands. “I am... me, right?”

Hearing the concern in the question made Riku's heart swell. So he was still afraid of losing himself, being 'someone else', even for as long as it took to recover from a nightmare. “Yeah.”

He nodded, mollified. “Good.”

Riku shifted, bringing Sora partly against his chest. “But you're always my Sora, you know.”

He'd intended to say 'my best friend'. Riku thought he should be embarrassed for the slip, but concluded that really, he'd said exactly what he meant.

With a blink, Sora glanced up at his face, and started to grin. “... Yeah,” he relaxed. “Just like you're my Riku.”

“Exactly.” At ease when he smiled, Riku reminded himself that Sora might not be over his nightmare yet. “Are you okay?”

His grin broadened, and he started to say, “I'm great,” when the ship rocked violently and he was thrown on top of him.

At least Riku braced himself. Sort of. He managed to catch Sora with both arms and hold them upright for almost an entire second, and then collapsed to the mattress under his weight. “Uf-...”

Sora lifted his head from where it had buried half in Riku's armpit, sounding a little strained. “Donald must be steering...”

Riku grumbled, “I knew I should've stayed up and taken the helm.”

He thought Sora would correct their position right away, sit up and maybe laugh off the awkwardness. But... he didn't. He stayed where he was, as if this was a perfectly normal place to have a conversation.

This... this was okay, too.

“Maybe I should take over,” Sora suggested with a laugh. Riku snorted.

“You drive like a maniac, too.”

“I drive just fine when I don't have someone hanging over my shoulder correcting me every five seconds!”

“I wouldn't need to correct you if _that_ were true,” he grinned.

“No way.” Sitting up, Sora shoved him flat to the mattress, indignant look fading when Riku started to snicker. He kindly offered Riku a hand up, as though it _wasn't_ his fault that he needed one, but it was accepted all the same.

“... Do you want to talk about anything?” Riku pulled himself upright.

“Nah,” Sora shook his head. “I think you've had enough of my dreams for a lifetime.”

“I'll be the judge of that,” Riku grinned fondly. He wouldn't say it – not aloud, not to Sora, _maybe_ to Kairi – but he thought he'd be lucky to help Sora cope with his dreams forever.

A lifetime of Sora was well worth it.

“Want to try going back to sleep?”

Sora shrugged. “I'm awake now. I can drive for a bit.”

“In that case, I'm going with you... In case someone has to nag.”

“No way, you'll be all cranky when we meet Kairi,” Sora affectionately punched his arm.

“Chances are I won't sleep anyway, and I'm not being tossed out of my bunk again,” he protested.

“You want my bunk?” Sora grinned wickedly. “You won't fall as far.”

Rolling his eyes and groaning, Riku nonetheless took the offer and tried to get comfortable. “Will it be any wonder if I'm in a bad mood, when we get there?”

“I'll be careful!” Sora stood up, considering Riku for a second. Then, for the second time ever, he leaned down and kissed Riku's cheek.

It didn't feel the same as the other night, or even the same as when Kairi did it. The gesture was entirely Sora, innocently loving, wordlessly reassuring. Riku smiled.

“Wake me up when we get there,” he pulled the blanket up to his chest.

“Oh, I'll make sure you wake up.”

Riku almost laughed, wondering if that was Sora's idea of a 'threat'.

He didn't feel the need to be so on-edge now. Tonight proved that he never lost Sora, even to sleep, even to his worst nightmares.

There were... interruptions, only. The price of the generosity of his heart, allowing himself to become a vessel to shoulder the fear and pain of so many, though he didn't offer it consciously.

It was a burden Sora had to bear, until this was done. Maybe after that, even. But it was one Riku was going to bear with him, as long as it lasted.

“See you later, Sora...” turning onto his side, he listened to Sora cross the room and the subtle whoosh of the door opening. He closed his eyes.

“Sweet dreams, Riku.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end! 
> 
> As promised, we will be answering all the questions from the comments on our tumblr ( lanternjawedstudmuffin.tumblr.com ). Please continue leaving comments if there's anything you're still wondering about, and if you have tumblr we'd love it if you'd follow us, and you can submit questions through our ask box as well.
> 
> Y'all are awesome. Stud & Muffin out.


End file.
